To Upper-Decker Or Not To Upper-Decker
Normally, we at PoopReport do not condone turd terrorism. Most of the time the victim of such an act is a janitor who had nothing to do with what instigated such a reaction in the person seeking revenge, anyway. I received a message from someone who challenges our rule, and he wanted me to put it to discussion:
Our home was foreclosed upon a year ago in questionable circumstances. The bank refused to give us a chance to refinance or to make a payment, and we were only one month late. The bank also sat on the house for a year and sent us repeated threats to pay bills that should have no longer been our responsibility, what with our not being allowed to live in the house and all... .
Today I found out that the bank is going to re-list our home for one hundred thousand dollars less than what they were demanding we pay one year ago. We still have a key, and we found out from our lawyer that the house is still ours until the end of the month. The bank lied about this point.
We are taking all of the plants and trees out of the yard this week, seeing as we added them after we bought the house. While at the house today my wife hit me and jokingly said, "We should upper-decker all the bathrooms on the last day." Would committing upper deckers in the toilets be wrong? The bank shit on us. Should we shit on the bank?
I have to admit: Part of me, the evil Daphne part, thinks "Yes!" when considering Ted's dilemma. Our country's lenders and investors knew damned well what they were doing when they approved thousands of sub-prime loans to clients who with risky credit, and I think more than a few of them deserve an upper decker. On the other hand, the other part of me, the ethical Daphne part, wonders who would be cleaning up the mess.
What do you think, Poopreporters? Is it ever acceptable to commit an upper decker? Does Ted have a good claim?