Sharing The News: How Old Does Someone Have To Be To Hear It?


We received an anonymous submission last week:

"This is short. Last week I crapped my pants for the first time as an adult. The details are brief--I was caught in traffic and could not find a bathroom. When I did manage to pull into the parking lot of a fast food restaurant, it was too late.

"I pooped as I made the turn into the parking lot. There was nothing I could do to stop it, but I yelled out loud anyway.

"'Goddamnit! You have got to be kidding me!'

"I was so angry at my butt that I did not think about the fact that people might be looking at me, and sure enough there were. After I had turned off the car and banged my head against the steering wheel, I heard a little voice say, 'What's wrong with him?' I looked up and saw a kid about four years old pointing at me. His mother (I guess she was his mother), took his hand and led him away from my car. She gave me a funny look. I think she thought I was crazy.

"I felt so 'what's the use?' by that point that I almost leaned out the window and told the kid that I had just shat myself. Looking back, I wish I had. He would have had a great story to share at his next Show-and-Tell."

Would you have told the kid you had just pooped yourself, had you been in the author's place? Discuss.

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6 Comments on "Sharing The News: How Old Does Someone Have To Be To Hear It?"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

This killed me. The more time I read this the harder I laughed.

To discuss, our household is divided. Two of us said we would absolutely have told the kid. The other two said they would have been too embarrassed to do so.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Anonymous's picture

Kids are natural shit-lovers and anything to do with bathroom activities. I would have to vote a resounding yes. That kid would have laughed his ass off and probably remembered the shituation for the rest of his life. I think it is incumbent upon us as adults to provide small children with entertainment whenever possible.

Can you imagine the look on the kids mothers face if he had told the kid? That alone would be worth the unavoidable embarrassment.

Anonymous's picture

First, and hopefully last, time I shat myself as an adult was luckily at home. I was in the bathroom and no one else was around.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

I think it was wise to keep it to himself. I can only imagine the mother calling the cops if he told the kid he was sitting in his poopy pants. But, the kid was right in questioning a strange man parked, banging his head against a steering wheel. So, lets discuss that!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Oh Shit...'s picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I am literally in tears right now!!!

Anonymous's picture

I don't think I would have told the kid what I did. Lol.

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