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When It's Serious, Call Your Doctor
Submitted by daphne
December 3, 2010, 15 Comments

Today when I logged into Poop Report, I did the same thing I do every day – check the approval queue for un-moderated comments. If you do not have a Poop Report account, then any front page comment you make is not immediately posted. Instead, you are given a message that your comment is awaiting...

Sitting Down To Business: Yes Or No?
Submitted by Groom of the Stool
November 24, 2010, 23 Comments

Folks, I have a confession to make, a deep, dark secret that I have not told to a single soul until now. A shame so embarrassing that the Germans have a word for it: Sitzpinkler. That's right. I'm a guy, and I sit down to pee. Go ahead, laugh. Cue the girly jokes. Yes, I throw like a girl too...

PoopReport Pinball
Submitted by the thin brown line
September 15, 2010, 7 Comments

Besides a satisfactory shit, what would be more appealing to my fellow poopers than a well designed poo- themed pinball machine to bump around? Instead of being a selfish shitter, I’d like this thread to be a community effort, one that all of us can have fun with. I will start. The theme is...

The Fake Story: Why?
Submitted by daphne
August 24, 2010, 36 Comments

Over the years, both Dave and I have received many fake stories in our email accounts submitted for publication. Some of them are pretty entertaining, as a matter of fact; people never cease to amaze me. Of the many crazy requests, testimonials, and solicitations that arrive in my inbox, I’d...

Pumping Up
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
June 30, 2010, 17 Comments

Fecal incontinence is the inability to control bowel function. The condition can be the result of a difficult childbirth, colorectal disease such as Crohn's disease, accidents involving neurological injuries, surgical resection for localized cancer, or by other neurological disorders. Severe...

Yet Another Poop Dream
Submitted by Turdage2
April 2, 2010, 10 Comments

Lately I have been having strange dreams about crapping my pants in public, but this latest dream disturbs me quite a bit. I dreamt that I was hanging out with in this cute guy's room, and I had to go to the bathroom. I pulled down my pants to go and there were about six inches of dead black...

Dreaming About Poop
Submitted by MSG
March 16, 2010, 17 Comments

I very rarely have dreams involving poop or pooping, but last night I did. In my dream, I was supposedly at work. I work in a school in real life, and my dream workplace was a school of sorts with long halls; elderly people were sitting at wide intervals, quietly knitting but watching over things...

Ask Poopreport: Where Did That Come Fro
Submitted by SarahSmiley
February 17, 2010, 7 Comments

I had my first colonoscopy and edg (which stands for esophagogastroduodenoscopy) at eight this morning. I had been fasting for forty hours, took my Miralax, and then I shit until it was clear. The prep was by far the worst part of the procedure. I came home and slept for a while. Then around...

Getting The Bottom Line On Bidets
Submitted by KawaiiUnchi
February 2, 2010, 27 Comments

I am a work from home mom who obsessively researches everything about an item before purchasing it, especially when the item is for my family. My current agenda is finding the perfect bidet attachment for our home toilet, which will be used by my husband, our three year-old daughter, and me. I...

2010 - A Poop Mediocrity
Submitted by daphne
January 1, 2010, 19 Comments

There were two minutes left until the New Year here on the West Coast, so I figured I had enough time to pee before donning a plastic hat and shouting Sesame Street numbers with a bunch of inebriated musicians who were kind enough to invite us to celebrate with them. I was wrong. My brain had one...

Feek Thoughts - Round Two
Submitted by CB
November 6, 2009, 29 Comments

If I were a rich man, I would replace my underwear at least once a year. As it is, I use them until they develop holes in places where there aren’t supposed to be any holes. Underwear serves a vital function in all societies. People walk around farting all the time. If they didn’t have on any...

Briggs Needed A Slogan...
Submitted by turdistheword
November 3, 2009, 14 Comments

Years ago, I worked for JP Industries building one-piece toilets and bidets under the Briggs brand name. During that time, they had a contest for a new slogan celebrating their seventy-fifth anniversary. I submitted the following entries: "Your shit is our bread and butter" "Seventy-five years...

Making It More Than A Toilet
Submitted by ideas by chuck
November 2, 2009, 14 Comments

Recently, an email arrived from a guy named Chuck. He had an idea of how to multi-task his toilet here on his blog, and he thought we might appreciate it. Toilet Terraforming Lately, I've been working on tons of different projects, but every day I take time out to think, to ponder, to touch my...

Feek Thoughts
Submitted by CB
October 2, 2009, 32 Comments

Let’s discuss one of the seven words that you can’t say on TV: shit. That’s right, shit. I don’t know how many of you guys are married, but you know for a fact that a woman’s shit stinks more than a man’s. If any of you have a girlfriend and have not been privy to the excruciating smells of her...

The Fight For The Throne
Submitted by Destiny Ejoi Boyd
September 25, 2009, 16 Comments

Do you ever wish that you were an only child? You'd never have to share anything, including the bathroom. Growing up, my siblings and I always fought for use of the bathroom, particularly on Sunday evenings and holidays when Mom used to cook up massive amount of food. My siblings and I would eat...

Stalling In The Big Stall
Submitted by Deja Poo
August 31, 2009, 53 Comments

Editor's note: this comment was recently posted in the comment thread of this story here. It encourages us to put ourselves in the situation and ask how we would handle the situation. I never really appreciated the handicrapper until I had a handicapped child and parent that truly require the...

Summer Stoolstice 2009 Discussion Page
Submitted by Dave
June 21, 2009, 35 Comments

The random confluence of atoms a trillion years ago set in motion the galaxies and the stars and the planets, whose gyrations settled into a rhythm so regular that every June 21st is the longest day of the year for the northern hemisphere of Earth. And on this day, speaking of regularity,...

Newspaper Contamination
Submitted by tipdrip215
March 19, 2009, 21 Comments

Does anyone have an extra newspaper subscription, one for the toilet and one for the rest of your life? If so, explain.

The Yuletide Log: A Christmas Open Forum
Submitted by Dave
December 24, 2008, 46 Comments

I hereby declare this page to be the Christmas 2008 open forum. Let us discuss our holiday craps, of course; but let us also strive to enrich mankind by gathering a repository of each and every Christmas-related poop pun that can possibly be made. Future generations will thank us.

Thanksgiving Open Forum 2008
Submitted by Dave
November 27, 2008, 59 Comments

As we do every year, please use this page to discuss your Thanksgiving experience: the waiting, the nibbling, the swigging, the gorging, the collapsing, the staggering, the exploding, the splattering, the ruining, the panicking, the throwing away of the bathroom rug. If you haven't already, make...

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