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Tube-Free Toilet Paper: Love It Or Hate
Submitted by daphne
September 10, 2014, 2 Comments

This past week I bought my first package of tube-free toilet paper from Scott Toilet Paper. Scott is the brand I usually go to now, but only if I can find products from their Naturals brand. (I think regular Scott Toilet Paper is a thin sham, and it scratches my butt.) I love the tubeless variety...

Discussions: Those Damned Automatic Sin
Submitted by daphne
January 10, 2014, 2 Comments

How I hate the automatic sink, and I want to talk about it. According to many studies conducted on bacteria and illness, some of our most personal and beloved items are the grossest. Sure, most people are aware that infectious germs may be present on their cell phones or credit cards, but how...

Porta-Potty Photos: The Whipping Boys o
Submitted by daphne
May 1, 2013, 2 Comments

We've read quite a few good stories and newswires involving porta-potties. Some people have used them to sneak looks at ladies' bums, dump babies, hide out, and of course, to just test gravity. Mostly, however, people destroy them. We've yet to find pictures of these beloved structures in the...

Just What Happened At West Sabine Elemen
Submitted by daphne
February 28, 2013, 7 Comments

West Sabine School, located in the eastern portion of Texas, has a turd terrorist. Not just any turd terrorist, but possibly a fourth grade turd terrorist. According to an article by Newser staff member Mark Russell on February 15, the unknown little shit had successfully crapped on the gym floor...

To Upper-Decker Or Not To Upper-Decker
Submitted by Anonymous
February 9, 2013, 7 Comments

Normally, we at PoopReport do not condone turd terrorism. Most of the time the victim of such an act is a janitor who had nothing to do with what instigated such a reaction in the person seeking revenge, anyway. I received a message from someone who challenges our rule, and he wanted me to put...

Dee Snyder Accuses Ted Nugent Of Dodging
Submitted by daphne
February 5, 2013, 11 Comments

Last month lead singer for eighties rock band Twisted Sister Dee Snyder, and more recently Celebrity Apprentice contestant, accused Ted Nugent of intentionally shitting in his pants to avoid being drafted. According to some, he did this in response to Nugent's freaking out over gun control, and he...

Celebrity Toilet Paper?
Submitted by Anonymous
December 27, 2012, 13 Comments

This came from an anonymous inquirer: What celebrity's face would you want on your toilet paper? I'm leaning toward Kim Kardashian.

Dragon Fruit: Coming Unprocessed To A T
Submitted by Anonymous
November 15, 2012, 17 Comments

The following submission was written by someone whose first language is definitely not English. I unscrambled it as best as I could. It appears that somewhere in the world, a kid from another country or different culture has discovered that dragon fruit makes him poop. See? Poop is universal!...

Not A Good Idea
Submitted by Anonymous
October 16, 2012, 9 Comments

This remark from anonymous caught my eye today: I love to fart but it is not a good idea to crack one when you're having sex ... or especially when you're getting a BJ. This happened to me yesterday. I think she was mad. Has anyone else ever accidentally floated an air biscuit during sex? And...

Poll: Farting While Cooking ... What?
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
September 13, 2012, 0 Comments

Chief Thunderbutt wrote to me last week, with this to say: I was just in the process of chopping veggies and slicing meat to be marinated and used in a tasty stir fry for this evening's meal when I let fly a couple of delightfully loud farts. My wife, who heard them from the next room, came down...

Life After Anal Leakage
Submitted by Anonymous
August 22, 2012, 3 Comments

To my knowledge, my worrying about whether my butt smells like shit is nearly gone, if not already. Before, I used to wipe my ass after I had sweat profusely and find brown marks and a hint of feces. This may be over. After drinking tons of water daily, increasing physical activity, and getting...

Buying Toilet Paper And What Else: Does
Submitted by daphne
July 31, 2012, 8 Comments

Recently in our forums we PoopReports got into a discussion about whether or not one is embarrassed to purchase toilet paper. This topic lead to putting random objects into someone's shopping cart for laughs, to finally putting a collection of items up at the register that would let the cashier...

Mid Century Home Style: The Bathrooms Fr
Submitted by daphne
June 19, 2012, 6 Comments

Some of my best memories of my Mimi (my mom’s mom) involved when I would spend the night at her little brick house. The bathroom at the top of the stairs was a forties-style, pink and black paradise to a little girl. The little black tiles set in the floor and wall were always shiny, and the...

When Is Constipation Not Constipation?
Submitted by Blind Mullet
June 14, 2012, 2 Comments

This comes from our forums. Q: When is constipation not constipation? A: When there's a buildup of pressure in the lower part of the belly, and it occurs to one that one hasn't had a shit today, and come to think of it didn't shit much yesterday either, then one naturally assumes constipation....

Sharing The News: How Old Does Someone H
Submitted by Anonymous
June 12, 2012, 6 Comments

We received an anonymous submission last week: "This is short. Last week I crapped my pants for the first time as an adult. The details are brief--I was caught in traffic and could not find a bathroom. When I did manage to pull into the parking lot of a fast food restaurant, it was too late. "...

Is It Easier Being A Woman If You Need T
Submitted by daphne
March 7, 2012, 10 Comments

Dave P. writes, "As a forty year-old man I find it is much easier to poo in public restrooms if you are a female. The trouble with male cubicles is that there are never enough of them, and often there is not enough toilet paper. Being a man is fine if you just have to pee, but I say "Forget it!"...

Is Post-Gallbladder Pooping Relief In Si
Submitted by harley121
February 24, 2012, 3 Comments

Editor's Note: I performed a routine review search on the medication mentioned in this front page submission and am rather surprised that we have not received more information about it. If anyone has used this medication we would love to know how it works for you as well, and if you were...

Would You Give Someone a CLOO?
Submitted by daphne
September 9, 2011, 18 Comments

According to this online article and many others like it there is a new app on the horizon for smart phone users, one that will help find a nearby toilet, should the need arise. CLOO is expected to be released soon according to the app's Twitter page, and when it is users can choose to sign their...

The Numi Toilet: They've Forgotten
Submitted by daphne
August 12, 2011, 12 Comments

They think they've raised the bar. If you happen to have $6,390 lying around, and you like to poop, then maybe you’d like to purchase Kohler’s top of the line, the Numi. This toilet is ridiculous. As you and your trembling bung approach the Numi a sensor plays music for your ears, and water...

Remembering Your Worst Porcelain Nightma
Submitted by daphne
March 31, 2011, 18 Comments

An anonymous person wrote to me a while back and asked what was the dirtiest bathroom that I held in my memory. Believe it or not the question stumped me. Of all the roadside rest areas, porta-potties, traveling fair field toilets and public restrooms that I've had to use in my life, few stood...

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