Dee Snyder Accuses Ted Nugent Of Dodging Draft By Intentionally Crapping Himself

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Last month lead singer for eighties rock band Twisted Sister Dee Snyder, and more recently Celebrity Apprentice contestant, accused Ted Nugent of intentionally shitting in his pants to avoid being drafted. According to some, he did this in response to Nugent's freaking out over gun control, and he felt the need to remind people that our beloved Motor City Madman was not as patriotic as he seems.

Snyder was referring, of course, to the infamous Nugent interview High Times Magazine published in October of 1977. Here is the pertinent part of the interview:

High Times:How did you get out of the draft?

Ted Nugent: Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin’ it to it. I had a career Jack. If I was walkin’ around, hippying down, getting’ loaded and pickin’ my ass like your common curs, I’d say “Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin’ around in the gutters.” But I wasn’t a gutter dog. I was a hard workin’, motherfuckin’ rock and roll musician.

I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I’ve always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded motherfucker. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn’t know and I’m vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was – ‘cause I was really into bein’ clean and on the ball – I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.

So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn’t believe the smell. They were ridiculin’ me and pushin’ me around and I was cryin’, but all the time I was laughin’ to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin’ up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin’ up. So I went home and cleaned up.

They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?

Nugent, who is a political polar opposite of Snyder, now claims that he would show up to interview meetings like this with "glazed eyes" and that these articles were loaded with lies. And Snopes responded that Nugent did sign up for the draft, but their report is convoluted regarding Nugent's own testimony. The truth-seeking site found that Nugent qualified for a health-related exception, but that he also admitted to something he earlier said he lied about when saying he lied about shitting himself: doing meth before the draft.

To say the least, this rocker bitch-fest represents the truest form of mud slinging.

What is your opinion? Do you think Nugent is an intentional pants-pooping draft dodger? Do you feel that Snyder is using questionable material to trash Nugent because he is being "liberal" with the truth? Or, because Nugent could enlisted voluntarily in the Marines and went to war if really wanted to, was his lack of military service telling as to his true patriotism? Discuss.

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11 Comments on "Dee Snyder Accuses Ted Nugent Of Dodging Draft By Intentionally Crapping Himself"

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I dunno...always loved the Nuge for eating what he kills, and I respected Dee, when AFTER his light faded, he still stood up with Zappa and the rest against that ridiculous cunt Tipper Gore and her cronies...I think they both might be a little attention starved...

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I'm not a fan of rock music and honestly I have never heard any of either one's music. If Nugent is the sportsman he claims to be he wouldn't have been fined over $10,000 for the illegal taking of two animals. A true sportsman realizes that hunting restrictions are there for a reason and does not violate them even if he intends to eat the animal. Buy some ground beef next time you feel the urge to eat meat Ted, or if you prefer wild meat, as I myself do, please take it legally.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

The Phantom Pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Apparently Snyder is still wearing makeup and dressing like a woman. If he's not, he's brain damaged. If neither of those things is true, there's no fathomable reason for him not to understand that peoples' worldviews change as they age.

Smell the wrath of the Phantom Pooper!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I don't see why he would need to go to those lengths. All he had to do was profess loudly at the induction center that he was a homosexual and would suck anybody's dick to prove it. In the 60's and 70's, that was an automatic 4F.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Ted Nugent is nothing but a loudmouthed asshole and doesn't have a patriotic bone in his body. He could have joined a branch of the service that would probably not have exposed him to the possibility of combat if he feared being drafted as a ground pounder so much.

As to his declaration that he had no plans of giving up his career to go play army, pfft!! Here are a few who did serve;

Ice-T served four years in the 25th Infantry Division.

Harvey Keitel joined the Marine Corps back when he was just 17 and served in Lebanon during Operation Blue Bat in 1958.

Mel Brooks served as a corporal in the Army during World War II, where he participated in the Battle of the Bulge.

Gene Hackman spent time in the Marines as a field radio operator.

Chuck Norris served in the USAF.

Dennis Franz was drafted into the army after college and served eleven months in Vietnam.

Montel Williams served in the military, both navy and marines, for twenty two years.

Bill Cosby served four years as a navy corpsman working with the injured from the Korean war.

Rob Riggle was a Lt. Colonel in the marines.

Ted Nugent is a loudmouthed sissy of the highest order who would not make a good pimple on the asshole of a real patriot. He is a has been also as far as his music is concerned.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

i imagine ted nugent trying to ward off a comet with a semi-automatic. he is in some other place but sane. as for his career to excuse military service, that is bogus. ali had the balls to say fuck you to the military industrial complex and payed a heavy price. no one dare call ali a "pussy'.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

i didn't know my comments now need to go through moderators.in that case, one does not need to join the military to be a patriot. um, abbie hoffman, bobby seale...etcetera...even william kunstler served before he got wise to how the common person also has a responsibility to either join or not join a killing machine such is our military.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I agree with your assessment of Ali ttbl but disagree on Nugent. Ali clearly stated that he was standing up for his philosophical convictions when he pitted himself against the military industrial complex and lost.

Nugent was standing up for nothing other than his desire to continue making money and had no grand ideals that he was defending. He continues in the same vein today and is a major chicken hawk in my opinion. I admired those who oppose military service on moral grounds, I am one of those now even though I served honorably for 14 years.

Ted Nugent did not have a bad opinion of the military industrial complex, as a matter of fact he was a huge supporter of the war in Iraq but he was a supporter of war only as long as he was an observer and someone else was taking all the risks. A first rate pussy in my opinion.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

chief, i agree with your assessment of ted nugent. he really is an antagonizing person who as i stated is in another world of insanity. he is with the ranks of limbaugh. reading the interview excerpt again truly puts into perspective what the nuge is and contnues to be: not an apologist, but a nationaist with no concern about the peoples who are victims of our aggression...and as you correctly proclaim...a "first rate pussy". i do respect that he hunts for keeps, but it ends there. his radio show is enertainment at its worst, and he knows he is not fooling anyone with his american style nationalism.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

oh, daphne....excellent article. the photos are priceless.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I must admit that I searched for a while to find those pictures. I love both of these rockers, but we're trying to be funny here!

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

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