Celebrity Toilet Paper?

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This came from an anonymous inquirer:

What celebrity's face would you want on your toilet paper? I'm leaning toward Kim Kardashian.

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13 Comments on "Celebrity Toilet Paper?"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I don't know why but I would like to wipe my hole with Justin Bieber's face. Would the teeny boppers still love him if he was sporting a Dirty Sanchez?

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

Nancy Grace. The kind of post- diarrhea wipe that saturates the tp. Gooey, with enough acidity to burn a hole in the reptilian hindbrain that Nancy was blessed with. Cunt!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Mine would have craven images of Allah and the Prophet Mohammed. It seems only fitting since I do occassionally wipe my ass with pages torn from the Koran.

In the big scheme of things, my ideal roll of celebrity toilet paper would be the entire lineup of elected federal official from the Democratic party.

"What's this, Deja!?!", you might be asking yourself. Well, since I consider the entire cast of Congressional Teapubs to be the Assholes of the Federal Government, it would stand to reason that the Dems are the ones who are trying to clean up their mess.

Still, it would somehow seem wrong wiping my rear end with the countenance of Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer or Barbara Mikulski.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Anonymous's picture

Barack Obama. Wouldn't be able to tell when I was clean though, since his face already looks like shit.

Anonymous's picture

What caption would appear below the picture on Sarah Palin Toilet Paper?

I can see your asshole from here.

Can I clean up this mess? You betcha!

I see you had moose for supper last night!

I must refudiate these dingleberries!

Spread those hams and wink like this! Wink! Wink!

I'll wipe off every smudge, just like the Brits did Paul Revere!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

@ Anonymous on Fri, 12/28/2012 - 15:33.

A somewhat racist reply.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I would go with Rosie O on my tp. With her large head and equally large mouth, I would have to mount a paper towel dispenser next to my toilet to handle the plus size squares.

Poop John the First's picture
l 100+ points

I would have to have my own face just to keep reminding myself I'm full of shit!

Spreading the turd one poop at a time.

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I'd get some satisfaction from wiping my behind with Oprah's face. It makes me sick to think of how much material shit she has--might as well put a bit of literal shit on her big ol' grin.

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Anonymous's picture

Certainly glad you're not on our side!

Anonymous's picture

Koran toilet paper would be a big seller.

Anonymous's picture

C. Everett Poop

He's a shitstain of the highest order and needs to be commemorated as often as possible.

Anonymous's picture

Holy shit stick! The violence you show towards Nancy Grace is more emotion than many people feel about the things they dearly love!

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