Doo The Dew: The Great Mountain Dew Pitch Black Green Poo Experiment

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On Friday, you drank forty ounces of Mountain Dew Pitch Black.

This weekend, you looked at your poop.

Tell us: what color did you see?

(Don't know what we're talking about? Click here.)





After 40 oz of Mountain Dew Pitch Black, my poop was:







257 Comments on "Doo The Dew: The Great Mountain Dew Pitch Black Green Poo Experiment"

werewolf pooping on trees's picture

Green. It was jade green, the colour my bile usually is. Maybe black Mountain Dew makes you produce extra bile? I read that some people's bile is brown, so maybe that's why some people don't get the green. Who knows?

Cornholio's picture

Cornholio

Loueloui's picture

A common way of making things black is to make them really,really dark green. Take black shoe polish for example. Anyone in the military who has ever washed a rag with Kiwi on it can tell you that it is really just very dark geen.

Dr Pooper's picture

Not only Green, but also, Red, Blue or any other strong color. Ever wonder how they make pepsi and coke brown? Tis just a shitload (all puns intended) of red food coloring. Diabetes AND cancer all in one go!

As for the Doo, err, Dew, it appears to be of Blue origin.
Everyone remember what colors you mix to make green?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It has been established that in order to get Cancer from red food dyes, you must eat the equivalent of a bathtub of red m & m's every day for 10 years. Red food dye cannot give you Cancer is such quantities. Actually, the ratio determined has been 1 case in 100,000 over a seventy year life span.

Blue #1 HAS BEEN BANNED IN AUSTRIA, BELGIUM, SWITZERLAND, NORWAY, FRANCE, AND GERMANY. This is the dye in Pitch Black Mountain Dew. The only thing I could find through some of Europe banning this substance was that it has been linked to mitochondrial damage in the human cell.

OK, enough boring shit. Here's my report.

My son and I decided to down a couple 2 liter bottles of the stuff and had 2 very different reactions.

Thomas-
Drank over 50 ounces of it. He weighs around 110 pounds. This morning he reported his poop (I'm so proud of my boy) to be sage green with an unnatural tint (my words, his were to hold up a piece of mail that had green lettering on it and say, "this color"). Green poop, but not really green poop.

Me-I have had the runs ever since I began to drink this crap. I've been doing sprints all night and morning, and they have only been marginally-tinted green. I drank over 50 ounces, too, and I weigh around 150, give or take an egg roll.

Conclusion?

Need more Dew to doo. Can't stand how if affects me, so I will never know how much.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

fudgepump's picture

Turd color: Dark olive drab. No technicolor.
MDPB: Possibly the most rancid fluid ever marketed as a "refreshment". After slamming the first 20 at 2:00 PM Friday, I couldn't force myself to touch the second one till 6:00. (You're a better man than I am, Cornholio).

Conclusions: Same as Cornholio, with one addition; I'll drink a bat shit smoothie before MDPB touches my pipes again.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

My conclusion is that this has been a ridiculous marketing ploy, and that like parfums, maybe all the good flavors (scents) have already been made. Coke and Shalimar and Chanel no. 5 are classic drinks and scents. All were invented years and years ago.

Now, pop is getting redundant, so this extreme shit has become the only new ploy the pop companies can think up.
Parfum has become redundant. Many "new" smells smell suspiciously like old ones.

I think that there are a finite number of ways one can combine chemicals to get a limited number of results. We should just quit.

Face it, Pepsi is too sweet, they will never beat the taste of Coke to Coke drinkers, and everyone should just quit this crap. How long do we think it will be before Pepsi will copy Coke's C2 stuff? They shamelessly copy everything else. The lemon stuff, the vanilla stuff, etc.

Put down your damned chemistry sets and leave us alone!

PS If you like Pepsi better, I apologize. It's your mouth, and I have my mouth. We all have our opinions.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

disrupt's picture

my poop was green the other day and i wondered why ... after reading this i remembered drinking a shit load of mountion dew pitch black ! I GOT GREEN POOP

fudgepump's picture

Of course it's a marketing ploy, Daphne. What I find incredible is that folks would go back for second doses of this backwash. (But that's just my tormented taste buds, upset stomach, and caffeine-addled nerves talking).

pooperdoo's picture

it made my poo dark green, but not flourescent

The Bunghole Sisters's picture

I used to be literally addicted to (similarly-hued) Grape Kool-Aid, and it made my poop a bright, neon green, too.

I think it's the blue dye (#1, as some of you mentioned) in both, that is not metabolized and just gets shitted out--it combines with the natural yellowness of feces, to make a strikingly green product.

Future of Feces's picture

MDPB is my least favorite of the neo-Dews. It has yet to alter the hue of my dung, but it has affected the consistency.

Cornholio's picture

Fudgepump--I'm not sure if I'm a better man than you. Maybe my tastebuds are a little less sensitive and can absorb more of the horse-piss taste of MDPB. Even if the blue dye isn't dangerous--and Daphne's research indicates it's some pretty badd stuff--that much concentrated caffeine can't be good for you.

Poop Is My Friend's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Well, I just finished my first 20 oz, I'll be starting on the second in 30 minutes or so. I have to say though, this soda tastes like cat piss. Errrr not that I've ever tasted cat piss, but...emmm...it tastes like it smells!

The Shit Pistol's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This isn't the tastiest drink on the market, but I should have pooptacular results tomorrow, I'm about finished with my 2nd bottle.

Green Apple Splatters's picture

I've had around 24 oz of MDPB, no green poop here. But last time I had green poop was three days after having a black icee from Burger King (for halloween). I don't think results will be immediate, if any.

liquidy_poo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i've been drinking MDPD whenever i've gotten the chance. this stuff to me is like beer to you guys...well, at least to the alcoholics in the group.

The Holy Shitter's picture
l 100+ points

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... beer.

Pink's picture

You people all have way too much time on your hands. Now having said that, I have to ask - where is this craptacular drink being sold? I cannot seem to find it anywhere. I do know that once when I drank about a case of grape soda in a day, I had forest green poops in varying degrees of brightness for about two weeks. And with all the comments about the horrible flavour, I have to say - I am Cajun, I will eat anything that does not eat me first. It can't possibly be as bad as some thigs I've tasted.

Cornholio's picture

Pink--try a convenience store like a 7-11 or whatnot. And it absolutely is as bad as the folks here say. I'd rather eat crawfish testicles than drink this shit, I guar-un-tee.

doo dew's picture

That shit taste nasty!! I couldn't drink it. I gave the other bottle away. didnt see any green color either. but, I only managed to consume about 15 ounces.

fudgepump's picture

So far we have feces (both human and bat) and crawfish testicles on the menu ahead of MDPB. Let's hear from the Pitch Black lovers!
Cornholio, pass me one a' them crawdad nuts...here, have a swig of my batshit smoothie.
(I'll pass on the bowl snake just now, thanks).

Bengal Bob's picture

Mountain Dew Pitch Black doesn't taste bad. Of course, I'm a Cincinnati Bengals fan and that should say something for my bad taste. Huh?

Log Flume's picture

I like the Pitch black M.D. I drink lots of nasty stuff(mmmmmmm.....Goldschlager) no green butt goblins here.

Tromboner66's picture

After 56 ounces of Mountain Dew Pitch black, my poop was........ brown. I was really dissapointed, and I will never drink that nasty soda ever again.

Pink's picture

Okay, I am gonna hafta try this stuff. Will post my findings (or the description of them, I won't post what I find in the bowl - that would mess up my monitor).

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I'm very, very disappointed to report that, 60 hours after downing 40 ounces of this stuff, my poop was no greener than normal. Oh well. I guess I must have superior, dye-resistant superfeces.

Poop Is My Friend's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Only a slight greenish tinge to mine. I was hoping for something more along the lines of radioactive super poo, but oh well. Guess I drank cat piss for nothing.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Well, I'm going to try a black Icee from Burger King next.
Sounds fun.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Sarah's picture
l 100+ points

Well, admittedly, I only drank half the bottle and I also have not yet checked with my husband, but here's my personal experimental results (from a 115-lb person):

Approx. 6:00 p.m. Sunday evening:
Drank half a bottle of the "black" Dew (after holding it up to the light and noticing it was actually a very dark purple. It contains "a blast of black grape," according to the packaging.) Went about my business, which seems to involve getting my ass kicked by JavaScript.

10:00 a.m. Monday morning: Poo time. After my first cup of coffee, I meandered towards the bathroom, trying not to be nervous about possible unnatural shades of poop color. Everything came out okay, and then I checked.

To my disappointment, after forcing down a clearly inferior pseudo-grape soda, my poo was merely greenISH. It's been that green before, I'm afraid to say, without digestion-altering food dyes. However, it would make an interesting (if disgusting) science project to see what food dyes would create a "rainbow of poop." Any takers?? 'Cause I'm not doin' it.

Bantam's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I bought one of the Dews and I got about 1/4 of the way through it before I realised it tasted like I'd already shit it out. I poured the rest out and will never drink it again.

Needless to say, my poop was indifferent.

Jeff A's picture

Well after a two liter (Hey I like the stuff so sue me) bottle of the black gold I can say without a shadow of a doubt, I had the deepest green poo I have ever seen, kind of hunter green actually!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

That stuff tasted terrible. It did not change anything about my poop. I want my money back.

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Kinkapoop's picture

I agree that MDPB is some horrible shit. I can't manage to drink enough to participate in the experiment, but I wanted to tell everyone that I have experienced green poo - after downing 3 shamrock shakes from McDonald's in one day.

ScaryMann's picture

Well, I drank two bottles of the stuff yesterday. The first bottle tasted fine, but halfway through the second bottle, it stopped tasting all right. For some strange and odd reason, I didn't have to poop afterwards. I had some farts, and my pee smelled like bug spray, but no DewDoo.

Finally, I got up this morning and after I performed some household tasks, I felt that familiar rumbling in my tummy. Like a kid at Christmas, I rushed to see what awaited me. Also like a kid at Christmas, I was expecting to see lots of the color green. The consistency was the same, but when I looked in the bowl, it was the same yellow-brown that it was the last time I pooped before drinking Pitch Black. Unfortunately, no green poop for me.

Maybe in a few weeks I'll try it again-this time with three bottles.

The things I do for science.

Rick Needham's picture

Per request of the "King Pooper" (Dave) - I continued to drink Pitch Black over the weekend ... 12 oz cans ... mine turned an irridescent blue-green ... the stuff is so water soluable, the the water in the toilet also started to change color ... just took one can to produce the color change ... the more I drank - the more pronounced the color would change ... kinda like doing a pH test in the Chemistry Classes that I teach!

jbravo36's picture

Well I had over the limit of Mountain Dew Pitch Black and my POOP was GREEN/// 2 20oz is not enough.. I had maybe a 6pack Friday and Saturday and by Sunday it had prodiced Green POOP, severe GAS and the LIQUID POOPS!!! A Funny by Mountain Dew or not but Im a beleiver

poohagirl's picture

I don't like anything that tastes like Grape
or smells like it. M.D. gives me a damn stomach
ache. I would rather someone else shit their brains out.

jeremy's picture

PICS!

ScaryVIII's picture

For me it was a kind of grass green...

Phoebe's picture

I LOVE THIS STUFF! Even tho it turns my Phoebefeces a weird dark green. Code Red didn't make pink poop. What gives?

G Ras's picture
l 100+ points

I have been a consumer of "Yahoo.... Mountain Dew" since the days of the tiny green bottles with the picture of the hill-billy getting' a hole shot thru his straw hat. I loved the way it came out the same color it went in . I admit that whether or not there was a call for research... I would have purchased an introductory supply of this shit, just as I have all the 7 Eleven incarnations of the "Slurpee". Well I have to admit that I failed the research..... one sip of this shit had me at the sink spitting it out. What are these marketing people thinking? These guys need to stop smoking crack on their lunch hour and do some of the taste testing themselves instead of having ADHD, learning disabled children doing it for them. I would rather wear a necklace made from the stinkin' jade green nuggets of my fellow PoopReporters than swallow another drop of this swill. Sorry

Perhaps I am an asshole and so much time has pass you probably won't even read this .... but in my defense.... this site is all about funny stuff that happens to us about shit in the course of everyday living.... and may I say in my story I too got shit

Paul's picture

Check out the web page:
http://www.mountaindew.com/pitchblack

Of particular interest is the "Terrifying Trailer" TV ad, listed with the teaser "Uncover the mystery of Mountain Dew Pitch Black." Indeed!

Throughout the spot, the product emits an eerie green glow. Then, after our brave hero drinks it, his eyes begin to glow green-- hinting at the mysterious green he now carries within.

This is marketing history, folks-- the first time ever that a product is being sold specifically for the entertaining way that it colors people's stools. For plausible deniability's sake, of course, the message is encoded as a general green-hued "mystery," but the meaning is clear to people who are in the know-- which includes anyone who is reading this discussion.

This strikes me as an amazingly subversive thing for a major brand to take on. And I'm all for it-- more colors, please!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture

HEYHEYHEY!!!!! I happen th like MDPB! It's very popular here in Transylvania... so is green poop... go figure.

The Shit Pistol's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

After two bottles of Pitch Black I did notice my poop turned a tint of dark green, but I think that you'd need more than 40oz to make your poop an extreme green but not nuke green.

We should do this again sometime.

homer's picture

has any1 heard of the food dye "yellow 5" found in regular MD shrinking male body parts

miguel cervezas's picture

Daphne is a little hell bent on Coke being the shit eh? no pun intended there. You are allowed your opinion. pepsi currently makes pepsi edge though, which is the equivalent of c2. so you know. i cannot say i participated in this test. I did try this drink the other day. I had about 3 gulps of it and pitched it out the window. Terrible. Tastes like it looks. I have however noticed that grape gatorade, which has a crazy color of purple makes for a radioactive colored poo. keep up the good work poo peeps.

The Pooplorist's picture

I've been drinking assloads of the Pitch Black for a couple of weeks (I'm a sucker for new soda promotions and for sodas of colors that do not occur in nature - anyone here ever drink Big Red Strawberry Soda?) Anyway, my poop was slightly green, but nothing too unusual or could have been cause by postnasal drip. (My daughter had a green doo on Saturday, and she didn't touch the stuff).

Jason's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

In the name of science, I bought a couple of 20-ounce bottles... all I can say is, I want my dollar back! The first gulp I took of this swill was followed by a highly pressurized spit! There is NO WAY that I could participate in this experiment, since I don't possess a beer-bong!

natasha's picture

First of all, this is the nastiest thing I've ever drank. Ever.
And the green poop wasn't very exciting.. just a normal drab green, nothing like the beautiful bright green after eating a box of Trix.

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