The Order When Going For Number Two: Poo Before Pee, Or Pee Before Poo?


I've been holding a debate with friends on the proper or normal order of conducting Number Two business. Is it proper order to poo before you pee, or pee before you poo?

Can we settle this for once and for all?


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20 Comments on "The Order When Going For Number Two: Poo Before Pee, Or Pee Before Poo?"

Anonymous's picture

Poo before, just in case there is any splashage you are not being splashed with pee water.

Montreal Gal's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I usually pee before I poo. If I really have to poo, I'll either poo first, or do both at once.

When you say the word "poop", your mouth makes the same motion as your butt-hole does when pooping.

Anonymous's picture

Depending on the degree.. I like to go poo and then pee.. it helps rinse things off.. you know, cleanliness.

Anonymous's picture

How about only poopin, and saving the pee up for a later time. Or accidentally pooping while peeing at a urinal

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points

I usually poop before I pee, while sitting on the toilet. There have been a few times where I went pee both before and after going poop. When I pee, it usually means I am finished pooping. I poop anywhere from two to four times a day on average.

In search of the ever evasive BM

athenivanidx's picture
l 100+ points

"I poop on my pee, and I pee on my poop"

-CKY, Poop on my pee rap.

Look it up on youtube....its funny shit (and piss)

We three shits of Mathematica are. Laughing on the toilet, har, har!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I usually poop first because my pee is sometimes rather reluctant (prostate) and pushing to poop helps me to pee. Occasionally I poop, wipe, and stand up, and only then can I really empty my bladder. If I am slightly constipated, though, I sometimes stand to pee first, flush (I dislike upsplash containing urine), and then sit to poop. It varies.

crohnsplosion's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Usually I poo first. Peeing is a signal that the dumping process is complete.

BTW that CKY rap is friggin great...I've loved CKY since I was in high school. CKY2K was awesome.

This here's Little Brittle and the C-bag. And he's kickin' it, elderly school.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I poop and pee according to my body's needs. Of more concern to me, though, is how many times you have had this conversation with your friends and with how many friends you have had this discussion and, more importantly, to they look at you funny when you bring up the subject or are they just nonchalant about it.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

This probably depends on whether or not you're a man, but I'm a woman and I usually pee first and then poop unless I have a case of liquishits--in that case, it's usually sort of simultaneous or the poop comes first.

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I have bladder problems and must empty my bladder with a urinary catheter. If I fail to do this and just sit down to poop, and neglect to point John Thomas down, there is a possibility that I will pee on the wall across from me. My wife finds this to be disgusting and berates me whenever it happens. Therefore I normally pee before pooping.

If I am suffering from the dreaded gombu, a condition which allows you to shit through the eye of a needle at 50 feet, there is a real chance that I will poop on the wall behind me while attempting to pee. My wife is also disgusted by this so, in such a case I sit down, tuck John Thomas in a downward pointing direction, and try to release both at once.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous's picture

Since I'm a squatter, if I have to do both and don't pee first, then I get to choose whether I'd rather shit on the back of the toilet seat or piss all over the floor.

ChrisM's picture
l 100+ points

I usually pee first. It seems to get everything started better. If it's really bad, it'll just all come spewing out of me at the same time.

The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

IBSSUCKS's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It totally depends on the situation, I really don't care as long as I get the relief I need.

Ollie's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I rarely seem to have this problem cause for some reason I cant pee while im shitting or always seem to get an erection when it all happens lol. but usually if i do need to pee its usauly at the same time im in the porcess to poop, just seems to happen as I push cant help myself and just pee while im shitting lol

Smelly shitter

Anonymous's picture

I pee many times throughout

Anonymous's picture

I start to poo and about 75% through the movement I release the urine stream. So for 25% of the dance there is simultaneous bliss and goosebumps and that rolling of the eyes.

Anonymous's picture

I pee first usually as I am a girl, then poop, as I poop first thing in the morning before I do anything. I can pee sometimes throughout my pooping session it just depends. I usually poop twice a day!

Anonymous's picture

I'm a girl and I poo then wee.

Anonymous's picture

I have been known to do both. I may pee then have to poop depending on how long I have to sit. I may pee afterwards and the pee tends to feel super warm. Most times though when I have to poop I just poop first then pee it's sort of a natural cleanser. I still feel the need to take a shower afterward because after 30 minutes it never seems like you wiped good enough even though you know you did. I hate taking a dump anywhere other then my house but, if I do baby wipes and perfume are a must. It helps if you use the wipes first then paper to dry things nothing worse then a wet booty...ewww... Oh yea for those who fear splash back when pooping put a little toilet paper in the toilet before you poop, it keeps the water from splashing when the load drops. learned this one from Tyra Banks when she had her talk show. I remember that good night.

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