Eternal Debates: Requisite Default Seat Position

// // 94 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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THE ISSUE:

Leave the seat up? Leave the seat down? Leave the lid down? What's the rule in your household?

94 Comments on "Eternal Debates: Requisite Default Seat Position"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

My wife makes me pick the seat up when I pee, and put it down when I'm done. Her reasonsing is that she doesn't want me peeing on the seat. Problem: I'm incredibly lazy, so I just leave the seat down, pee on it, and wipe it up when I'm done.

I explained to her that she'd be must better served requiring me to leave the seat UP at all times -- that way she knows it would be out of the way when I pee, and she knows it would be clean if it's in the up position.

Skid Marky Mark's picture

Yo, tha Skidster always puts the lid down when he done wit his bidness, and my shortie does the same. Now don't be hatin' on me fo' it. The reason's simple: Otherwise our cat, Mouse Killa, might try to jump up there and fall in.

frances ford crapolla's picture

THere is a rule in my house to keep the seat down, for the ladies. THey claim it's a hassle to have to keep putting it down. I abide. I just don't understand why it's harder to keep lowering the seat than it is to keep raising it.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

No rule about the after-use seat position in our house -- do as you please. But at night, I try to make sure it's down. When I stumble in there at 2am, I sit while I pee so that I don't have to flick the switch or light flairs to hit the target. In backing my ass down, more than once I've crash landed on the porcelain because some idiot (me) left the goddamn seat up.

However, we do have a rule that you leave the bathroom door open after coming out, so that anyone else can easily determine it's available. I've noticed that most of our guests close the door after they come out.

Logjam

ThreePly's picture

I normally lift it up when I have to take a leak, then put it down afterwards for my wife. She's never complained about me leaving the seat up before, I basically do it because its the some of the only exercise I get. If I drink a lot, I'm running to the bathroom more frequently, and by the end of the night, my bicepts are tight. By the time I'm 50, I should have arms like Hulk Hogan.

Chris Rockwell's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

One of the cats will play in the water if you leave the seat up, so we are a down house.

Fluffy's picture

MARCO!

Mr. Whiskers's picture

POLO!

Turd Ferguson's picture

Look, I just want to say this: Guys who stand up to pee in their own home either (a) are bachelors, or (b) have wives that clean the bathrooms for them. Once you mature and realize how pee splashes out of the toilet when you stand--and you realize this quickly if you ever have to clean your own bathroom--you learn to pee sitting down.

Yes, I know there are those who will claim that a man sitting to pee is "teh ghey," but if you don't want your bathroom to smell like piss, you better shape up and learn to do it right.

Fido's picture

FLUSH! Heh heh he.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Turd Ferguson: Hey, learn to hit the sides. No splash, and quiet.

Logjam

The alligator's picture

Please leave the seat, and the lid up. thanx.

Turd Ferguson's picture

Logjam, spoken like someone that's never cleaned his bathroom. It doesn't matter where you pee--in the water, against the sides--some of it ALWAYS splashes, aerosolizes, or whatever. You're just spraying pee around on the floor. It's nasty. Consider sitting. I'm tired of us sit-to-pee folks being given a bad name.

Tronald Dump's picture

You're comparing without adequate info fellas. All commodes are not created equally. The bowl for my WC is so large you can piss right into the water, write your name along the sides, and even step back ta few feet to make a "rainbow" just for kicks, and there is no splash. Turd F. obviously has a little bowl.

Turd Ferguson's picture

Size doesn't matter! It's what you drop in the bowl that counts.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Turd: Women just tell you that size doesn't matter to make ya feel better. But listen in on their conversations: Size counts.

Logjam

Tronald Dump's picture

Log's right. If i think i'm not going to score with some honey, i sugest that she powder her nose. When she sees the size of my shitcan the deal is sealed!

dude's picture

I clean the bathrooms and pee standing up. 'taint a biggie.

After getting bitched at to leave the seat down after, I instituted a policy of putting both seat and lid down, the damn wife still has to look and act before plopping her ass down, but can't complain that the seat is up.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

i don't think there's any kind of rule in my house, but there's never really been a problem with the boys leaving the seat up. in fact, i have the opposite problem. my brother often leaves the seat down when he pees, getting piss all over it! i'd rather have him leave the seat up, personally.

as far as the lid goes, i usually put it down as a force of habit, but sometimes i forget, and others go either way too.

i don't really see the problem a lot of chicks have with guys leaving the seat up. if you don't have to put the seat down, chances are you have to at least put the lid up, so either way you have to put effort into it. what difference does it make?

i love poop.

Trivial Sir Poot's picture

My attitude is a compromise between two previously expressed opinions: I stand up, but then I wipe the bowl immediately afterwards with a bit of toilet paper. Somewhere along the line I realized that I save myself a bit of hassle on chore day by doing this.

Maintenence guy's picture

I'm in yer buildings after yez go home. I clean the shitters. The women's room is fifty times worse than the men's. These broads leave the seat down and then they must stand over the can and spray all the shit over the GD place. Piss on the seat, the floors, the walls.... Men's room is like , maybe some turds and overstuffed with paper. WOmen can be sick lemme tell ya'

Elvis Presley's picture

I prefer to leave the seat down, for obvious reasons. Sometimes I like to sit on the throne for extended periods of time.

marcos's picture

seats always up. what if someone has to blow chunks asap, im not taking that risk....

Sharty_jones's picture

I have to keep the seat down. As has been mentioned prior, it is as much a pain in the ass (No pun intented) to put it up as it is to put down. I hate doing it but I do. Having the seat up is just not worth the effort.

All of the "I don't want to fall into the toilet at night and the lights are too bright" excuses are crap. Get a night light.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

The flame war was cute yesterday, but that's it. Flames will not be allowed on any other page of this site. So says me and my mighty delete button.

the frequent farter's picture

What's the hell is a flame?

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

i don't know why you'd want to sit when you can stand, anyway. i mean, i'm lazy and don't like standing, but i think i would always pee standing up, if i could.

and i agree sharty, about the excuses. cuz it seems like you'd have to turn on the light or feel around to check the seat anyway, because the lid could be down and you could end up sitting on it with your bare butt. obviously that's not as bad as falling into the water, but either way you have to check right? who just sits on the toilet without looking at first?

i love poop.

Commode-O Dragon's picture
l 100+ points

I thought the ability to stand up to pee was the main advantage to being a male. I only pee sitting down if happen to be on the pot while taking a dump.

Yes pee does tend to splash out of the bowl sometimes, but is it really that big of a freaking deal? Urine is sterile, its not bacteria filled like feces. If a few drops get on the floor, no big deal, you clean it up every week or two anyway. Its not an operating table, its the bathroom floor.

I usually leave the lid up and the seat down and rarely lift the seat to pee. All you have to do is aim your weiner and you won't pee on the seat. Maybe a drop or so will get on the seat...but that same drop would have gotten on the bowl with the seat up...and you'd have to clean it off regardless.

Commode-O Dragon's picture
l 100+ points

Turd Ferguson, there is bacteria everywhere, you are coated with bacteria right now, so am I. Yes, some bacteria is bad, some is good, but really I don't think its that big of a deal. I've been splashing pee all over the bathroom (if thats what happens everytime you pee standing up, that is) and I have yet to see any detrimental effects from it.

It simply does not bother me if there is pee on the floor....for a week, lol.

Log Flume's picture

The whole woman wanting the seat down thing was invented by an abnoxious bitch some time ago.No one will ever understand. Toilet seats are mounted on a hinge, just like a door.if its up, move it down, dont you look before you sit down?, you dummy.It is just one more excuse for a woman to open her mouth and bitch, now go make me pie.

Turd Ferguson's picture

Commode-o, that's bad advice! Yes urine is sterile, but only until it leaves you. In fact, the end of the urinary tract often contains bacteria, so in many cases it's no longer sterile once it's out of you. And once it's on the floor, it's a great harbor for bacteria. That's why it stinks after a while, and why you want to splash as little as possible. Or clean up every day--not week!

Shypoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Being slightly ocd, I like guys to put the seat back down after they piss in order to not have to touch the seat myself. to show its not sheer laziness I in turn put the lid down when I am finished. What's the big freaking deal? Oh yeah and Maintenence guy, you are totally right about women being disgusting in the bathroom. I've been in both the women's and men's bathrooms at school at the end of the day and the guys is next to spotless while the women leave shit unflushed in the toilet, used tampons on the seat, nasty shit like that. No wonder i am ocd.

Cookie_Monster's picture

I hear you Maintenance Guy and Shypoo. Women are truly disgusting when it comes to the things they do to public restrooms. I had the misfortune of having to clean the womens shitter twice when I worked at Kmart years ago. One time there was thick diarhea sprayed all over the back and sides of the floor around the toilet, but oddly there was no shit whatsoever on the toilet.

The other time really tells just how nasty women are. The chain had snapped on the inside of the bowl, so instead of simply lifting the lid up and reaching in and pulling up the stopper to flush the toilet each women proceeded to shit and piss on top of the last persons toilet-bowl creations until it was to the brim of shit and piss. Obviously going to the bathroom on top of someones feces is a better alternative to getting your hand wet by sticking your hand in the tank to flush it.

Tao of Poo's picture

I say leave the seat down, pee all over it, then make sure you buy those wipey things at the grocery store that are in the cleaning/toilet paper aisle. They're for doing quick cleanups around the bathroom, if you just leave a package on the tank, if you pee on it, you can just wipe it up and it's clean, well, cleaner than if you just wiped it up with toilet paper.

Those wipe things: funny story: when the wipe things first came out, they put them right next to the toilet paper in my local grocery store. Thinking that they were like adult baby wipes, I almost picked a box up and put it in my cart, but then I noticed that they were made by Clorox. I thought "Clorox, why the hell would Clorox make butt wipes?" Once I read the package a bit further I noted that they were for cleaning up the bathroom and contained bleach! They put it right next to the toilet paper! Mean joke the grocery store was trying to play. Needless to say, a couple weeks later at the same grocery store I noticed that they had moved the Clorox wipes closer to the cleaning products rather than the toilet paper.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

At our house we leave the toilet lid closed when no one's taking a crap/piss. For two reasons:

1. My cat Charlie plays in water. (Yeah, I know. Hard to believe that one.) This includes toilets. I have come into the bathroom to find the toilet seat covered with water and paw prints. So I started leaving the lid shut.

2. We have a puppy who has not caught onto the fact that toilet bowls aren't for drinking out of. No more explanation needed.

I say, if you're living alone don't bother either way. If you have kids or pets, shut the lid people.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Steve Grogan's picture

we have 2 dogs that love to drink from the bowl at ANY given opportunity. Of course, then they want to run up and lick you right after. I think it is on purpose.
Lids down when not in use at our house

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

hey TSV, i also have a cat who likes to play in the toilet water. well, she actually likes to drink it. but putting the lid down doesn't keep her from doing it because i've seen her in the bathroom numerous times with her head in the toilet, between the seat and the lid. she just pushes the lid up with her head. she can also open cabinets to sleep in there too. silly kitty.

i love poop.

Baron von Pooptoven's picture

Everything that has been said about public restrooms is absolutely true. Cleaning any of the men's rooms at my job is a breeze. There might be a drop or 2 of tinkle on the seats, but its no biggie. Urinals are a snap to tidy up also.

However, the ladies room... good lord. In some ways I am glad that they turn their public restrooms into a filth-pit, because now when I hear a gal talking about how 'disgusting men are' now I can set them straight. Greatest part about that is that they KNOW how disgusting their public restrooms get, so there's no argument to come back at me with.

Anyway, I've gotten a bit off-topic here. I leave the seat up when I'm takin a leak at home, cause I don't want to have to clean dribbles of piss to clean off the john later. When its time for a #2, seat goes down, of course. That being said, I don't (like some of the other folks that commented) understand what is so traumatizing or difficult about ladies having to hinge the seat from the up position to the down position, to take a pee. It always baffled me when girlfriends would essentially flip out over this.

Whatever. Baron out.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Log Flume, why is there a hinged lid on something that, according to you, shouldn't be closed?
It has a lid.
People pee and shit in it.
I think for it to be down when not in use is common sense.

Everyone in our house puts it down after peeing, and no one complains.

MY QUESTION IS THIS; HOW DO YOUR GUESTS REACT WHEN THEY COME TO YOUR HOME? DO THEY FOLLOW YOUR LEAD OR NOT?

I am amazed at how guests will come in, knowing the we are seat downers, and then leave it up. That takes some balls.

We have four cats, so we also do this because they will, from time to time, vault off the potty when they are playing. Once, I heard this unmistakeable noise, a splash followed by a "mew", and Nomad came out of the bathroom wet from the mid section down, shaking each back leg like James Brown.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

daphne: that's funny because i have one cat who somehow became really picky about her water, and it's come to the point where almost all she'll drink is water straight from the faucet. so, if she's not already on the sink waiting when you go into the b-room, if she can see that you're going in there she'll run in and jump up on the sink, using the toilet as a springboard. there have been several times that the lid was up and she didn't notice and almost fell in. haven't seen her actually fall into the water, though. but it's sitll funny to see her scrambling not to fall in. but i did have a cat a while back (who ran away) and she fell in the toilet once. i love that little shake walk they do when they get their feet wet. cats are fun.

to answer your other question: in my house it seems like guests are the only ones who ever leave the seat up. and for whatever reason that's the only time it gets on my nerves. it also bothers me when people shut the door after leaving the b-room. the door should be open unless somebody's in there!

i love poop.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Ah, the ole "I stank it up in there, so I'm embarrassed." ploy!

I always have some lavender spray or something in there for that occasion. That one bugs me, too, because we leave the door ajar.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Daphne, that story about your cat is hilarious. We've never had any of our seven cats fall in the bowl, just that one freak who plays. However, there is one cat in the house who managed to dump and entire dishtub of water on herself. Cats are funny. Why they are wet they are even better.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Other David's picture
l 100+ points

In Germany, there is a campaign as to get people to sit down while peeing. This presumably because of people peeing on the toilet seat.

It depends withme, sometimes Iraise the seat, sometimes I don't. It's all subjective, you know.

Many times when I have explosive diarrhoea, I wind up shitting on the seat (sorry, but when you gotta go, you have gotta go!) therefore, quite obviously, I have toleave it down, or the 'contentvm' will spill behind the toilet and all over the place, making a gross situation even grosser.

indifferent1's picture

Hey other David, does that mean you DON"T clean up after a poop explosion? You sir are a turd terrorist. I think I have seen the stalls you have used. Clean up for cryin out loud!

Sitting Wiper's picture

The default position should surely be with both the seat AND the lid down. Neither male nore female can take exception to this.

Commode-O Dragon's picture
l 100+ points

Although I am a lid up, seat down person, I must say that people who regularly keep the seat up do have cleaner toliets. Have you ever been to the bathroom of someone who never lifts the seat, then you lift it yourself to take a whiz and...TA DAH! There are pubes, shit spray, regular toliet gunk all over the bottom of the seat and around the bowl...which you never see with the seat down. Lifting the seat regularly lets you spot crud easier.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I beg to differ on that one. Many people I know keep their seat down and have clean toilets to boot. I have also seen some pretty filthy dirtbags who never put their toilet seat down. However, that may just be the people I know.

But you raise an interesting question, Commode-O.

Is there a corrolation between seat position and toilet cleanliness?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Commode-0 Dragon's picture

Oh yeah, I should restate that. I think that its easier for one to access the cleanliness of the toliet if you regularly lift the seat up and inspect below. If you never lift the seat, its hard to see crud that gets along the mouth of the bowel or even on the bottom of the seat.

This is not to say that people who keep their seat down have dirty toliets. Only I think that its easier to keep the toliet cleaner if you regularly see whats under your seat.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

"Ta Da"? Funny! Yeah, I've seen a toilet like that once. I went to a party for a piece of shit soldier who was being retired from the army because he had been in ten years and hadn't been promoted past specialist. I won't say any names (Mike Pruitt, Ft. Polk, LA), oops, but his toilet was one of the most rank things I've ever seen in my life. I lifted the lid to go, and it was exactly like you said, "Ta Da", but I wish I could think of what a nuclear explosion would be printed like. There were pubes, shit, streaks, oh god, I'm sick thinking about it (I know, stop it, I'm making all of you hungry........). UGH.

I have learned that if your toilet seat is down that it's easier to miss mess, and so I agree with you. But, I check everday, and I've taught the kids to use those Clorox wipes. It is kind of gross to get a "Ta Da" at someone's house.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Pistol's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

My household, the toilet lid usually stays up. I'm too lazy to lift the seat when I pee, so like Tydyrium, if I hit the seat I just wipe the seat. I unleash hell upon those who leave skids on the seat, it's sick. Growing up with three women in the house, it wasn't uncommon to find the occasional blood on the seat too - that's sicker.

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