Eternal Debates: Preferred Toilet Seat Material

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Porcelain? Wood? Puffy plastic? On what do you like to sit when you shit?

101 Comments on "Eternal Debates: Preferred Toilet Seat Material"

Pill Pooper's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardk 500+ points

I'm more of a fan of plastic or wood. They warm up a lot quicker then porceline. Although, don't get me wrong, porceline seats just feel more magestic sometimes, but God damn are they cold!! Fluffy seats are no good if you have the squirts. Yeah they look pretty but one or two shit splashes are they are done. Bathrooms are meant to be sanitary. Nothing fuzzy can be sanitary. Plastic is the way to go in my book.

-Pill Pooper

LiksaMyWoodpoopseat's picture

I prefer wood meself. It has substance. Puffy ones are for girly girls. Plastic and porcelain are just to industrial.
First post rules. ha!

Shat-Man-Doo's picture

I'm with Pill Pooper. Plastic or wood is best for me. The puffy plastic ones are for women only. They don't stay up when you are taking a leak.

anus's picture

i want one of those japanese crappers with the heated seats

Commode-O Dragon's picture
l 100+ points

I grew up in a house with foam seats and generally do not like them, but I'm ok using them. I find that foam seats are not as sanitary as plastic or porcelain; they tend to absorb stains, often at the back of the seat...where the top of your crack can leave shitty lip prints on the seat.

On the toliet at my apartment, I have plastic seats and I am ok with those, though ultimately I like wood seats the best. They combine the firmness and leverage of a porcelain seat with more of the warmth you'll find in a puffy seat.

One last note. I definately prefer a toliet lid that is hard enough for a person to sit on. The major complaint I have about the plastic seats at my apartment is the lid is thin plastic and buckles if you sit on top of it. Your toliet lid should turn your toliet into a viable seating area within your bathroom, and you need a solid, firm lid to accomplish this.

superpooper's picture

Well I like wood, because it does not move so much when you push. My girlfriend's house has a plastic one and I find it really cold to sit on.

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

nothing beats the comfort of a squishy foam seat. But on a hot day, nothing sticks to your ass worse. Can I have one for the winter and one for the summer? When I'm rich, that's what I'm doing -- having a servant to switch the toilet seat depending on my mood, the purpose of my bathroom visit, and the weather. Some days it will be his job to sit on the seat, to warm it up for me. I don't envy his job, but he will be more than adequately compensated.

Skid Marky Mark's picture

A hooker.

Kung Poo's picture
l 100+ points

Regarding cleanliness, I'd just like to mention that I give those new toilet bowl cleaners made with Teflon high marks! It really does make it easier to get the bowl squeaky clean and prevents those anal backfires from sticking permanently.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

the puffy plastic ones are ok, but they tend to make my booty sweaty, and it takes more time and effort to wipe piss off of it because it absorbs it a little. plus, if the plastic covering the foam starts tearing to reveal the foam, it's uncomfortable to sit on until you can get a new one, and it's pretty much impossible to soak up all the pee out of it if someone pisses on the seat.

i like porcelain and hard plastic ones, but i've sat on a couple that were cracked and they pinched my booty.

i'm sure i've used wooden ones at some point, but i don't recall feeling anything about them, one way or the other.

i love poop.

Hole Digger's picture

It has been my experience that the puffy vinyl seats crack and then pinch when they get older. Never fun. Porcelain is cold during winter and absolute agony when you are sick, running a fever, and have to sit. It makes your entire body hurt to sit on it.

Shypoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i must admit i don't remember ever using a wood seat, but i would imagine that they could get ruined from water stains. those puffy plastic seats are just disgusting; when i come across them i just hover. porcelain seats are a bit chilly at times but i think they are better than plastic because they don't break, and i like commode-o's comment that toilets should be able to double as a regular seat.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I have always been partial to the porcelain or super hard plastic ones, because that's what I'm used to sitting on. However, a friend of mine has a wood seat, and it's really cool. It's not so cold.

Now, how do you disinfect a wood seat without ruining the grain?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

tronald dump's picture

Look at this study of wood vs. plastic cutting boards:
infxtra/infcuttingboard.shtm it suggests that wood is better than plastic with regard to bacteria. though it still suggests avoiding cross contamination by not chopping lettuce on the same toilet seat you cut pultry on.

Trivial Sir Poot's picture

Puffy is the greatest. Maybe it doesn't hold up as long as stiffer material, but for those of us with 'roids who also appreciate a good, long shit (a deadly combo) it's just plain healthy. Seats are cheap enough that I wouldn't mind replacing it from time to time. OTOH, we keep plastic in our can because we figure guests wouldn't appreciate foam. Plus, it looks hella ugly.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I don't care if the seat is wood, plastic, metal, or solid spun sugar. As long as it's hard, supportive, and doesn't pinch. Puffy seats always pinch when I sit on them and they eventually get little cracks in the surface that also pinch. UGH! No butt pinching!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Square Poot's picture

I prefer no toilet seat when I sit.

stinkbombardier's picture

i prefer to hover like a huey chopper ready to unload its payload.I even wear goggles to set the mood. sometimes i think i would like to paint the seat with red and white stripes so it looks like a bullseye. is that unusual?

Chris Rockwell's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I am not too picky, but after I sat on a wood seat that broke and gave me ass splinters... I'll pass on wood.

JohnMan's picture

I've never seen a toilet seat made of porcelain. Porcelain is a glass/ceramic material and I'm not sure that there are any toilet seats made of this unless they are fixed, non-moveable like a commercial toilet.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Hey, Chris. Who'd you get to pull those ass splinters out? Ow!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Please don't tear's picture

Stainless steel, and a high pressure hose,
no wait, that was.......never mind.

sittinonacrapper's picture

anybody have thoughts on the seats that have the break in the front? I prefer those so my little georgie can hang down without stuffing.

Pooperscooper's picture

Either hard plastic, or wood with a good strong varnish coating. And the seat should have high quality hinges so it does not wiggle.

It is very unnerving to have an emergency run to the bathroom, drop trou, my burdened, about-to-explode-rear end onto a toilet seat, and have the thing suddenly shove sideways from the ass-impact.

And, its not like I weigh very much--I don't.

Its way too expensive finding toilet seats with good strong hinges that can withstand multiple butt-slams.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

"wood is better than plastic with regard to bacteria. though it still suggests avoiding cross contamination by not chopping lettuce on the same toilet seat you cut pultry on."

That was funny, Mr. Dump. I got a good laugh out of that. Thank you!!!!

And, I agree on the hinge thing. I hate a seat with poor hinges. Nothing like sitting on a seat, no matter the type, and having it move back and forth.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

AssFoam's picture

I prefer wood with a varnish coating. Foam is just retarted, plasti wears out, and porcelean is cold.

Colon P Gutbuster's picture

Wood is the best! Warms quickly and have never had one crack on me.
Foam gets liquishit stains and I have always referred to plastic seats as "crackbiters"!
Reason being that I have sat on a few cracked ones when at friends houses at college and every fucking one bit my ass - drawing blood on a couple of occasions and damn painful to boot!
I sat on ne of the bastards that was cracked at the front once and I swear the bastard was trying to circumcise me - hurt like hell! It cut me too!
I hate plastic.

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

I have one definite rule for toilet seats:
No soft seats at all! I'm too afraid that they get more bacteria growth than others. My mom is the same way. She said when she first moved into the house she lives in now, the first thing she did was take away the soft seats.

Now, with wood or plastic, my rules are less clear. It just has to be built right so it doesn't sink in when I sit on it.

the frequent farter's picture

I like those clear ones with barbed wire inside.

concerned's picture

i just took a poo and for the first time in weeks my asshole fell out.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Plastic or wood is best. There are good, solid, nononsense plastic and wood seats out there. But, BEWARE THE CHEAP WOODEN SEAT: I Once shunked a louis at my mother-in-law's house and she had the wood seet that is glued together in short sections all around the seat. Two sections were separated in front and offset about 1/8". The seat seemed to retain most of its structural integrity, so I didn't think much about it, till I was done crapping and stood up and got my scuh-rotum snagged in the jagged wooden crack, and I don't even have a very big bag. It was painful and humiliating. Right after some qick first aid from my wife, I went to the hardware store and purchased a new seat for my mother-in-law.

Poopmaster T's picture

Definitely porcelain. Plastic is just too cheap and tacky for such an important piece of furniture, and wood, being absorbent, seems unsanitary.

And those puffy plastic seats are just gross - they inevitably get tattered and discolored, and the way they hold the body heat of the previous pooper is very disturbing.

Luminol's picture

I cannot ever recall ever sitting on a wood seat, but that would be my 2nd choice after porcelain. I may be in the minority here, but I have always preferred a COLD seat to sit on and let it warm up from my own body heat only.

Brown Seymour's picture

The puffy seats just seem unsanitary. I'm always a little creeped out when I go to someone's house and see one in their bathroom. Also they do not age well. The thin plastic covering tends to crack, which can only be increasing it's tendency to retain bacteria and anal material in general. No, for me it's the hard plastic seat. Durable, comfortable when properly contoured and easy to fully sanitize and long lasting. Wooden seats aren't even in the picture for me. I don't like the way that they look. At some point I would consider experimenting by installing one in my own home, but I'm not prepared to use someone elses. This is the beauty of owning a house with not one, not 2 but 3 (!) toilets. They're all MINE. The one in the basement is exclusively for my own personal use. Even my wife, let alone guests, does not use it. When I put a new seat on it I know that it will remain un-defiled by any ass but my own. I am so fortunate to have such a sanctuary.

Menno's picture

Hey guys, I am a student Industrial Design Engineering at the TU Delft, Netherlands. I was asked to design an innovative toilet. Concerning the toilet seat I have two options: a hard plastic toilet seat or a removable and washable silicone gel seat. What do you guys think of these options and which one do you prefer?

Brown Seymour's picture


What's the point? What is the problem that you are trying to solve? Redesigning something that already works well for non-aesthetic reasons seems a little silly. How about a hard plastic that is impregnated with anti-bacterial compounds of some kind? That would be useful. Nobody is going to want that silicone gel thing. Read over the comments here and you can see that 95% of the toilet seat market is already opposed to squishy seats.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

yea, but maybe the silicone gel seat is hard. menno, could you please describe that one a little better. i can't really imagine what a silicone gel toilet seat would look or feel like.

i love poop.

Menno's picture

Yeah, that was my opinion also. My design problem is a little more complicated than just redesigning something that already works. I want to make a toilet that is far less expensive than the ceramic ones. By integrating the seat into the toilet (and reshaping it) and make the total toilet out of a polymer the material and production costs can be reduced. Problem with that is that plastic doesn't have that shiny 'royal' look of ceramics. My plan now is to make it out of a transparent polymer and paint it white on the inside, which gives it that typically ipod look, and gives the material a more elegant look, still preserving the low material costs. Anybody other suggestions?

Menno's picture

The silicone gel I had in mind can be viewed on:

Crappen geocacher's picture

I grew up on hard wood toilet seats that were coated with a smooth hard colored enamal paint. These seats were pretty good and lasted a few years, but my parents replaced them with cheap unmatched plastic seats. I had a wooden seat on the one toilet in my present house, but replaced that with a cheap plastic seat that keeps sticking to my but, when i try to get up off the stupid seat, plus the plastic seat keeps comming loose and sliding from one side to the other.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Menno! Email me about your project.

Obi-Dung Kenobi's picture
l 100+ points

Porcelain all the way. Any seat that (a) pivots any other direction but vertically while in use, or (b) tries to follow my ass when it leaves the throne, is unacceptable.

Obi-Dung Kenobi's picture
l 100+ points

Silicone gel? Just saw that, Menno. Got me thinking -- what about a seat filled with that soft gel those anti-carpal tunnel wrist rests are made from? Squinchy.

Lincoln Log's picture

I myself prefer the plastic ones #1 over all the other ones for the simple reason of being more sanitary. (in my opinion). Stains will generally just wipe right off with a good cleaner, but if you do go with plastic, buy one made by a reputable maker such as Bemis or Kohler (a renowned toilet maker). Solid wood would be my next choice because of sturdiness and not as prone to buckling when you shift your ass on it. Solid oak seats are great in that they hide stains better than a white woood seat. Foam seats are just worthless, they absorb stains way too easily, tear easlily, and simply do not last long

InvisaPoo's picture

I'm used to plastic but woods ok too.

Dale's picture

Does anyone else hate COLD toilet seats, even if they subsequently warm up?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Yes, I HATE ice cold toilet seats. Especially in this house. The whole fucking place is like a refrigerator.

Damn I hate winter!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

poo-fessional's picture

we all forget that the process of pooping is a fine event. it is climatic, like a piece of literature, if you will. the glorious thing about the porcelain seat is its addition to the build-up of taking a pooper.
alas, the process is such: you walk/run to the bathroom, shut the door, you unzip your pants, maybe a little bead of sweat is forming above your brow, you lower your butt down to the seat and BOOM! Porcelain meets your butt with a brisk, refreshing, tingling flavor! It's like "shock and awe" for your butt, leaving you no choice but to submit to the force of your poo and to let it all out! consider the porcelain seat the appex of the poop process. ten seconds after that bittersweet cold, the seat is warm and comfy and you can spend as long as you want, reading the new york times or what have you, recovering from the exhausting and ever-so-satisfying turd you just dropped.
the name of the game is porcelain!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Poo-fessional, the way you describe porcelain made me hear a chorus of angels singing as a guy sits on a toilet. It made me laugh.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

tronald dump's picture

I just go on the floor.

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