Contest #23: Six Word Story Contest | final results

// // 20 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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The model for PoopReport's six word story contest was what Ernest Hemingway claimed to have been his greatest work: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The beauty of his story is that brevity speaks a novel more: of a mother's suffering, of her tragic disappointment, of finally moving on with life. A truly moving six word story doesn't just describe an event or capture a moment or coin an aphorism -- it creates a vivid picture of a past, a present, and a future. In six words it sends the imagination into a place far more visceral than six thousand words could ever do justice.

And so the honorary winner of a six word story about poop must be this slight tweaking of Hemingway's classic: "For sale: baby shoes, worn once."

There were a cornucopia of entries from PoopReporters; as always, only a few could be chosen as finalists. Those that were chosen were judged to have come closest to creating the grand vision of human drama, just as Hemingway did. The winner should, like Hemingway's example, be the one that transports you into the past, present, and future of a story about poop.

Pick your favorite. The winner gets a copy of The Journal of Ass Production!


STORY #1
No, honey, the cat did that.
-- by PoopySmurf

STORY #2
During my final came the gurgle.
-- by Nine Inch Log

STORY #3
Giant turd 1, bleeding rectum 0.
-- by AssBlaster2000

STORY #4
Gator's a dog, what's your excuse?
-- by daphne

STORY #5
The rumpus room? Never the same.
-- by Sharty mcfly

STORY #6
I'm so sorry about your car!
-- by The Shit Volcano

STORY #7
Lesson learned: poop before bungee jumping.
-- by Fart Poopie

Read all the original entries here.

/** * the following displays the most recent poll * and assumes you have the poll.module enabled * * Works with Drupal 4.6 * Does not work with Drupal 4.5.x * */ // Set the nid for the poll you want to display $nid = 4668; $poll = node_load(array('nid' => $nid, 'type' => 'poll', 'moderate' => 0, 'status' => 1)); if ($poll->nid) { // poll_view() dumps the output into $poll->body. poll_view($poll, 1, 0, 1); } print $poll->body;

20 Comments on "Contest #23: Six Word Story Contest | final results"

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points

More than 200 great stories, and seven finalists that are as well-picked as a thong out of an irritated crack.

Fart Poopie's bungie saga was the most story-like of all, in my opinion. Reading those six telling words caused an entire short story to flash through my mind.

Fine work, everyone. I read and enjoyed all of the entries before the top seven were picked, and thought all were worthy of consideration.


_______
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points

all the entries were awesome, i'm honored to be among the finalists, and even more honored to have received votes! (other then the one i submitted for myself... ah well sometimes it's tough not to pick your own)

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I personally liked "The stall reeked; Mexican night prevailed" as my favorite entry to the contest just for the reason that it told a little story.

But, hell, I'll take what I can get. I'm not picky here.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Thanks PooperGal and everyone else that voted for my entry. You guys rock! :-)

PoopySmurf's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Wow--I'm new to the Report and I was quite surprised to be a finalist! There were a lot of great entries that had me laughing (or wincing) Thanks to all who voted for my humble tale--may the best poop prose win!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Gator says he's honored to be included and just dropped a dook full of braciole string, so he'd like the pity points.

Yeah, I screwed up. You can read about it in the forums if you want. I have a page on my website about string and animals, and this is why......
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

When does voting end?

Congrats, Daphne. It looks like you're winning. :-)

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Argh!!! Let's try that again.

:-)

There's nothing worse than chopped up happy face.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I am voting for story neumero uno.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I am voting for myself because I have no shame nor honor. None. Nada. Zip. I'd eat my young if I needed a snack.

Well, that might be taking it a bit too far, but you get the point. Besides, I'm a vegetarian.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Voting ends Sunday night at midnight.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

26 VOTES: STORY #4
Gator's a dog, what's your excuse?
-- by daphne

26 VOTES: STORY #7
Lesson learned: poop before bungee jumping.
-- by Fart Poopie

A tie. Congrats to you both! FP, email me your address so I can send you a Journal. Daphne, I'll send you something else you'll like. Do you have a certificate yet?

Everyone else: buy a Journal of your own, huh?

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Holy crap! Last time I checked last night, I was down by one vote. Congrats, Daphne!
Thanks to everyone who voted for my entry!

You've all made my day!

Chuck's picture
l 100+ points

Congratulations to the winner and finalists. This was a fun contest. For me, it took my mind off a terrible weekend when a family member died unexpectedly. Thanks for providing me with a humorous distraction and fun challenge.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

All hail, daph, Princess of Ties! This is, of course, deja vu. Last year, daph tied for Poop Reporter Of The Year, an honor that was richly-deserved.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

"Daphne, Princess of Ties." Damn; sounds like a novel by Poot Conroy!

All well done--sorry I was out of town and didn't get in on the fun.

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points

I too had tons of fun thinking up 6 word stories (usually at work!), and then reading other stories posted here. Some of them had me on the floor laughing!


_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Dave, IS this a joke? When my son checked the poll at 8:30 or so our time (11:30 eastern), he said I had 27 votes. Before our power went out here, I checked the results and I'd won. Fart Poopie was right.

What happened?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Dunno. All I know is what the computer tells me, and the computer tells me you both got 26 votes.

Maybe Thomas misread it?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

There were 27 votes on the computer screen. I would not shit you about this. Neither would Fart Poopie.

I thought you guys were really joking me by changing the vote because of all the second places and all, which would have been downright funny.

stuff
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

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