Contest #23: Six Word Poop Stories

// // 284 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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The Internet is suddenly abuzz with six word short stories. Wired Magazine kicked off the trend, noting that Hemingway called the six-word story he wrote his best work: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Wired asked a bunch of sci-fi authors to follow suit, resulting in some interesting work:

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.

- Frank Miller

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.

- Vernor Vinge

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly.

- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.

- Kevin Smith

Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here."

- Steven Meretzky

You get the idea. And you know what the subject is. Go to it! Winner gets a Journal!

This contest has closed. See the winner(s) here!

284 Comments on "Contest #23: Six Word Poop Stories"

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Clogged the crapper; too much shit.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

[Insert witty banter here]

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Shit splattering soiled many innocent pedestrians.

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Ate lotsa veggies, no indoor plumbing.


_______
An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

brownheap's picture

Those that push corn are reborn.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Evacuation is required, too fucking shameful.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Assbutter splattered porcelain throne, poopreport laughs.

Mr Intolerance's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Honestly McDonalds worker, not my mess.
_______
Honest honey, I took my pills...

Honest honey, I took my pills...

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Splashed my ass. Stench was terrible!

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Peppers burned, slid, gurgled, burned again.

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Tried to fart. Oops. Blew mud.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Clogged the bog, with a log.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Bad brown baby boy beats backdoor.

juicyturds's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

making big turds can bring pain

juicyturds

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

My colon is a turd universe.

THE SEQUEL:

Our universe could be a butt.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

From my hole, into the bowl.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Abuse colon habitually, achieve PoopReport notoriety.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Tainted food consumption, violent fecal expulsion.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Website regarding shit, NewYorker becomes legendary.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Oh god! My sphincter's on fire!

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

[Insert witty banter here]

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Dave's poop fettish is going global.

ghostlight's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Toilet paper roll empty, toilet full.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Mexican food outcome = assblast. Urban legend.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Public bathroom. Personalities conflict. Shameless prevails.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Loose load looming. Discharge impossible. Fucked!!!

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points

Chocolate fish meet swirling abyss.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points

Oops that was 5 words.

Chocolate fish meets a swirling abyss.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Chuck's picture
l 100+ points

Ugh unnh spalsh. Look: corn, peanuts.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Rhett farts; Scarlett gets the vapors.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

Million wiper. No TP. Halloween party.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

These reference real PR's.

Girl from Starbucks left him muddy.

Soiled the salon restroom? Buy flowers.

Helped wife deliver poo in tub.

Doorless stalls are mostly A Okay.

Watch out for frozen airplane poop.

I'll think of more later.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Veins bulging, asshole splitting...need help!

The voice of sanity

Boomerang's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

-Public restroom...though shall not poop!
-I Pooped. Sound normal? Get fucked.

Shitler - Poop Nazi. I also have a joke about him hating Pews (that's Jews + Poo) but maybe that's a little offensive...

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Lumberjack`s logs litter the forest floor.

The voice of sanity

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Veni, vidi, vici...then I shat.

The voice of sanity

bowlfiller's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Chocolate Starfish suspiciously winking, panties worried.

Skiddy wink, revenge of the sphincter

Hubble, bubble, scorching brown wet rubble

Portaloo for rent, sitting tenant included.

Poop life: Mouth, ass, sewer, sea.

Diarrhea diaries: Bullet from a bum.

Voices told me to scoop it.

Donald had never tasted brown mash.

Unexpected gift from previous occupant disturbs.

Le Poo's picture

Turds touching textile. Must go, NOW !

bowlfiller's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Humphry let rip, shocked, he weeps

bowlfiller's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Halloween Trickers use brown candy treats

bowlfiller's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Santa releases to squeeze down chimney

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Doc shook his head. The gerbil expired.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

PoopySmurf's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Corn for dinner? Niblet poop tomorrow!

Flaming butthole following curry--Ghandi's revenge.

No, honey, the cat did that.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Lola never did find Bill's keys.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Honestly, that came out my ass.

The voice of sanity

bowlfiller's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Daisy the colorblind cow, finds desert

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

I shit thee not, suffering constipation.

Large hard turd protruding partially - stuck.

Gotta go. Didn't make it. Shit!

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Wow, did that come from me?

Light a match, that one's horrid.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

[Insert witty banter here]

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

PoopReport, greatest poop stories told here.
______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Gentleman Dapper steps out of crapper.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

CaCa Doodle Doo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Asscrack spackled with foul adhesive excreta.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Blew foul load in middle road.

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