Help Come Up With A New Slogan

PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Marcus from would like our help:

We are looking for a new slogan for the American Biffy Company. In the past we have used You'll Love Your Biffy, butt we are rinsing clean and using a new slogan. Please e-mail entries to with the subject: Contest entry.

Our panel of highly-trained, talented bottom judges will choose the winners. The three winners will receive $150 credit to use towards an American Biffy product purchase.

The contest ends September 30th, so make sure to send in your suggestion. There are some neat things on the site that you could use the credit toward, such as a travel bidet, the Daisy Bidet, or the Biffy Chrome.

If you have a delicate booboo and like heated water, fear not! There’s a Bun Warmer that will heat the water used in your bidet to at least 92 degrees Fahrenheit. Installation looks very easy.

Once you submit your slogan, why not share it with us here?

11 Comments on "Help Come Up With A New Slogan"

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Keep your asshole clean.

Send me my check.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Buff up with a Biffy.

Send my cheque to Dave and Daph.

The voice of sanity

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

In Biffy We Trust

Spiffy Biffy
Good Morning FrankenBiffy

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

You didn't go far enough with it brown line, how about;

In Biffy we trust,
to remove that ass rust!

Use Biffy when you clean that tail
so you will leave no smelly trail.

Use Biffy all around that hole
once you have dropped one in the bowl.

Before you do a sixty-nine,
use Biffy on that foul behind.
Your partner's sure to breathe with ease,
once you have killed the smell of cheese.

Dirty old men need love too!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

While queefs and farts don't smell like tarts,
A Spiffy Biffy will cleanse all parts.

Is this better Chief?

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

Oh Christ on a poopsicle more for the road.

Use Spiffy Biffy as a troll,
to rank and file your grassy knoll

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

With apologies to Crystal Gayle...
Won't you make my brown eye new

Don Draper's picture

You'll be clean in a jiffy if you rinse with a Biffy.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Might I suggest a steam cleaning upgrade to the product?
"Pucker kind of iffy? Burn it down with Biffy!"

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Cheesey assholes choose Biff.

(sorry Jiffy)

Anonymous's picture

I don't understand how this works from looking at the pictures. I travel frequently, as does my wife, and I would love to have the awesome benefits of a Biffy while on the road. Do you have to hold the big blue unit between your legs and point the nozzle in the right direction, or is there a wand at the end of a hose that you could more easily maneuver?

It's unclear to me if the blue unit sits on the floor or do you have to somehow put the whole thing under you in the toilet before you push the button for the rinse. Any clarification would be appreciated.

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