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Wet Wipes: The Great Wipe Hope?
Submitted by Dave
April 12, 2002, 122 Comments

Editor's note: this conversation originated in the PoopReport Forums. Super Bowel: Last night I was at the store, and I picked up some ultra soft antibacterial, wet wipes. Made by some toilet paper company, I forget, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is how great they work! Holy shit, I have...

Seventh Generation
Submitted by Snapper
April 9, 2002, 6 Comments

RATING:     41/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $2.00 COST PER ROLL:   $1.00 # OF SHEETS:   500 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   average SQ. FOOTAGE:   average COLOR:   browny/beige...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Gern Blandsten
April 9, 2002, 3 Comments

RATING:     28/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.0" SQ. FOOTAGE:   125 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Quilted Northern Ultra
Submitted by Mike
April 9, 2002, 9 Comments

RATING:     81/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $2.24 COST PER ROLL:   $0.76 # OF SHEETS:   340 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   170 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Meijer Ultra
Submitted by Mike Eifert
April 9, 2002, 0 Comments

RATING:     44/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $3.88 COST PER ROLL:   $0.97 # OF SHEETS:   250 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   average SQ. FOOTAGE:   average COLOR:   white...

Kleenex Cottonelle with Aloe and E
Submitted by Mike
April 9, 2002, 10 Comments

RATING:     72/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $2.12 COST PER ROLL:   $0.72 # OF SHEETS:   240 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   255 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Ultimate Cleanse: Blowin' Your Colo
Submitted by Latrina
April 8, 2002, 208 Comments

I was inspired by Doniker's wife's cooking and decided that yes indeed, you do feel about 100 pounds lighter when you've pinched a couple of good loaves, so... since the recipe seemed unappetizing (fried bulgur?) I took a trip down to the local health food joint and ventured down the FIBER aisle...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Doc
April 2, 2002, 5 Comments

RATING:     39/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.0" SQ. FOOTAGE:   125 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Bulgur Wheat: The Vulgar Wheat
Submitted by doniker
March 4, 2002, 17 Comments

Every once in a while my wife gets a bug up her ass and wants to try some new exotic recipe. Most of these recipes suck and are expensive because they contain ingredients that we normally don't keep on hand. For example, I remember one recipe that called for sesame seeds, so she bought a bag a...

GoBidet: Other Reviews
Submitted by Dave
February 27, 2002, 13 Comments

Yesterday, I posted my review of GoBidet -- the apparatus that turns your ordinary household toilet into a full-fledged buttsink. I asked my roommates and my friends to try it out. Here is what they said about it. -- Dave Like Dave? He's featured in The Journal of Ass Production! Hey Dave, I...

GoBidet: A Buttsink Of My Own
Submitted by Dave
February 26, 2002, 35 Comments

One of PoopReport's most important social causes is promoting bidet use among men. As Colon Bowell first explained, the bidet is not just for hairy European woman anymore. Red-blooded American men should not fear the bidet -- we should embrace it as a tool to enhance our enjoyment of the bathroom...

Dog-Doo Disposal Devices
Submitted by Sarah
February 20, 2002, 31 Comments

You all know how it is: You're out walking your dog, and suddenly (though not unexpectedly) he does what dogs tend to do -- he goes doo-doo. Makes Number Two. Enjoy the unrivaled convenience of flinging dog poo without actually having to touch it. Whatever you want to call it....

Smart Choice -- IGA (Canada) Store Brand
Submitted by Billy bob
February 4, 2002, 2 Comments

RATING:     21/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.00 COST PER ROLL:   $.20 # OF SHEETS:   200 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   SQ. FOOTAGE:   COLOR:   white PACKAGING KIND: Just...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Bitsy
February 4, 2002, 3 Comments

RATING:     35/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.0" SQ. FOOTAGE:   125 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Quilted Northern
Submitted by Trashcanman
February 4, 2002, 13 Comments

RATING:     85/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.30 # OF SHEETS:   200 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   SQ. FOOTAGE:   COLOR:   white PACKAGING KIND: Plastic...

Fingertouch: The Amazing Toilet Seat Lif
Submitted by Dave
January 31, 2002, 20 Comments

In the interest of fair and accurate reporting, I try not to review a product unless I've actually used it. But sometimes, there comes a product that is just so striking, I can't help but to write it up sight unseen. My friend Trevor alerted me to this product after they spammed him. Three days...

The Turd Twister
Submitted by Dave
January 17, 2002, 53 Comments

The Earth is running out of resources. Our society is a wasteful one, and I feel that it's our duty to reuse resources much more than we do. If we don't change our ways, our over-consumption will destroy us. So I believe in recycling and reusing to an almost ridiculous extreme. But as much as...

Holidays '01: Crappy Gift Ideas
Submitted by Dave
December 5, 2001, 20 Comments

Friend, this page is ancient. Check out the 2005 PoopReport Holiday Gift Guide. Every other site in the world goes commercial around this time of year... we thought we'd join in the fun. Sometimes, the fact that I'm shilling a particular product may seem ethically suspect. I've identified most of...

74800xx01 Wide Adhesive-backed Profile S
Submitted by Jaybowel
November 17, 2001, 18 Comments

RATING:     55/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $5,990.00 COST PER ROLL:   $5.99 # OF SHEETS:   1 # OF PLYS:   3 (grit, paper, adhesive)   MEASUREMENT:   2.5" SQ. FOOTAGE:   9.375' COLOR: ...

Scott
Submitted by Trashcanman
November 14, 2001, 7 Comments

RATING:     36/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4" x 3" (est.) SQ. FOOTAGE:   225 sq. ft. (est.) COLOR:  ...

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