Consumer Reports
Submit New Item
Holidays 2002: Crappy Gift Ideas
Submitted by Dave
December 2, 2002, 12 Comments

Forget this page. Check out the 2005 PoopReport Holiday Gift Guide! It's holiday time again, and unlike most members of your family, we PoopReporters aren't that hard to shop for. Sometimes, the fact that I'm shilling a particular product may seem ethically suspect. So I've identified most of the...

Offensive TP Advertising
Submitted by Dave
November 21, 2002, 27 Comments

Editor's note: more often than one would think, people come across PoopReport's toilet paper survey and think that PoopReport is an official representative of the TP companies. I've gotten quite a few angry emails... most entertaining of which is this one. TO: Dave FROM: Ralsa DATE: 8.24....

Seventh Generation
Submitted by Poop Loggy Logg
October 30, 2002, 6 Comments

RATING:     71/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.75 COST PER ROLL:   $.70 # OF SHEETS:   400 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   200 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Salmonella Man
October 30, 2002, 12 Comments

RATING:     39/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   3.5" x 3.5" SQ. FOOTAGE:   225 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Quilted Northern
Submitted by Jeff B
October 30, 2002, 0 Comments

RATING:     61/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.00 COST PER ROLL:   $1.00 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   170 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Taming The Autoflush
Submitted by Dave
September 12, 2002, 20 Comments

In the distant brown future, I foresee bathroom technology that will make our lauded act so convenient, sanitary and problem-free that this web site will have no reason to exist. Innovations like anti-gravity toilet seats are sure to usher in a transcendent era of untold cleanliness and ease-of-...

The Perils Of The Autoflush
Submitted by AssBlaster2000
August 28, 2002, 19 Comments

Editor's Note: These two remarkably similar experiences first appeared on the forums. I just went to take a crap in my campus's newfangled computer lab building. The faucets and toilets are both automatic and motion-sensitive. The way the toilets flush is that there's an infrared beam that senses...

Military Rations: A Clear And Present Da
Submitted by Tollstrup
August 20, 2002, 21 Comments

During high school, I was in the Cadets, which is basically a young people's military program. The Cadets involved lessons in drill, field craft, abseiling, navigation, rifle-range, and night-movement. To put all of these skills to use in an appropriate environment, we would go on two camps each...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Sweet Jee Zuss
August 14, 2002, 6 Comments

RATING:     24/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.39 (on sale) COST PER ROLL:   $.39 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.0" SQ. FOOTAGE:   125 sq.ft. COLOR:  ...

Scott Tissue
Submitted by Glenn
August 14, 2002, 24 Comments

RATING:     71/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.50 COST PER ROLL:   $.50 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.0" SQ. FOOTAGE:   125 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Charmin Plus
Submitted by Christie Taylor
August 14, 2002, 22 Comments

RATING:     84/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $6.71 COST PER ROLL:   $2.35 # OF SHEETS:   350 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   252.5 COLOR:   white...

Nature's Platform: Squatting For A
Submitted by Dave
August 9, 2002, 34 Comments

For the editor of a site devoted to all things toilet, it's an Earth-shattering premise: what if the way I've been crapping is bad? Our beloved porcelain thrones are designed for sitting. But our bodies are designed for squatting. Thinking about the evolution of human society in the last couple...

Blow Harder: The Xlerator Hand Dryer
Submitted by Trashcanman
July 10, 2002, 49 Comments

Not too long ago, the landscape of the world began to change. The temperature started rising, landfills started popping up around the globe, and a big hole appeared in the ozone layer. By the time the 80's rolled around, it was obvious someone had to stand up for Mother Earth -- even if it meant...

Charmin Plus
Submitted by Joe
June 30, 2002, 7 Comments

RATING:     84/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $2.35 COST PER ROLL:   $.80 # OF SHEETS:   341 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   250 COLOR:   white PACKAGING...

Walgreen's Ultra Big Roll
Submitted by Beatoftheworld
June 24, 2002, 1 Comments

RATING:     34/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $.70 COST PER ROLL:   $0.25 # OF SHEETS:   1000 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   137.5 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

Cottonelle Single Ply Ripples
Submitted by Scott
June 24, 2002, 0 Comments

RATING:     70/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.25 COST PER ROLL:   $0.25 # OF SHEETS:   200 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   100 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

ShitBegone
Submitted by SphincterSpasm
June 4, 2002, 1 Comments

RATING:     72/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.67 COST PER ROLL:   $.70 # OF SHEETS:   420 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   SQ. FOOTAGE:   COLOR:   white PACKAGING KIND: Paper...

Charmin Ultra
Submitted by Trashcanman
June 3, 2002, 2 Comments

RATING:     72/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $4.00 COST PER ROLL:   $2.00 # OF SHEETS:   500 # OF PLYS:   2   MEASUREMENT:   4" x 4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   666.67 COLOR:   white PACKAGING...

Electric Hand Dryers vs. Paper Towels
Submitted by Dave
May 20, 2002, 64 Comments

Editor's note: Like many other thought-proviking topics, this thread first appeared in the PoopReport forums. SKIDDY POO: A friend asked this simple, but telling question to me and one other: After using the toilet in a public restroom where you have the option of drying your freshly washed hands...

The Mod Commode: How To Shit In Style
Submitted by Skiddy Poo
April 26, 2002, 38 Comments

My toilet seat is white and hard. It's old and shifts from side to side, even when I am firmly seated on it. It has stains on it that cannot be removed -- I've used bleach and gritty cleanser and yet they remain to remind me of the many other tenants that have sat where I now sit. Just...

Syndicate content