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SPECIAL REPORT: Ply's Does Matter.
Submitted by Dave
February 11, 2001, 0 Comments

Introduction Humans are creatures of habit. We pick a brand and we stick with it -- that's how brands make their money. We learned about this in marketing class: it's pretty hard to get new customers to switch to your product. Usually, advertisers just focus on trying to get existing...

The Dumptionary
Submitted by Crapstina Aguil...
February 6, 2001, 26 Comments

FROM:  "Pooper Supreme" <shittychanga@****.com> TO:  dave@poopreport.com SUBJECT:  Dumptionary DATE:  Tue, 06 Feb 2001 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Hello there, My friend Crapstina Aguilera and I (Shitney...

Soft n Gentle
Submitted by Sara and Beth
February 5, 2001, 0 Comments

RATING:     51/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $5.00 COST PER ROLL:   $1.00 # OF SHEETS:   280 # OF PLYS:   1   MEASUREMENT:   4.5" x 4.4" SQ. FOOTAGE:   462 sq.ft. COLOR:   white...

The Chipotle Mexican Grill, Denver, CO
Submitted by Eric
January 31, 2001, 45 Comments

CITYSEARCH.COM says: "As one Chipotle after another opens across the state (and now, country), founder and chef Steven Ells isn't content to coast. He's at work constantly improving the overall picture. Chipotle's guacamole is a sexy, silky mouthful. A dab of sour cream, a whisper of chopped...

The PoopReport Toilet Paper Ratings Syst
Submitted by Dave
January 27, 2001, 0 Comments

THE TP RATING SYSTEM The rating system is based on nine subjective attributes. Certain attributes given more weight to reflect their importance. Softness (x3) Clean-up ability (x3) Structural Integrity (x3) Texture (x2) Quality of Perforation (x2) Appearance of TP Aesthetics of Brand...

SPECIAL REPORT: Ply's Does Matter.
Submitted by Dave
November 16, 2000, 12 Comments

On TV, a loveable huggable fluffy teddy bear giggles and bounces on freshly folded linens. Yes, that's an ad for fabric softner, but that's the feeling I want when I wipe my butt. But with all the brands of toilet paper out there, which one is the best? Charmin? Angel Soft? Cottonelle? And...

The Plunger: Does it suck or blow?
Submitted by Dave
November 15, 2000, 15 Comments

You get off the toilet, having finished your dirty business. You wipe the sweat off your brow, pull up your pants, and flush the toilet. You watch the water rise... and rise... and rise... There's nothing more traumatic then watching the toilet overflow. There's nothing more gross than cleaning...

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