Charmin With Aloe: Now With Dandruff

// // 55 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Charmin with Aloe should come with a small vacuum to help gather up the snow fairies that are hiding in crevices after use. I am tired of gathering them up or finding them later.

When Charmin with Aloe first came out it was just like lotion and soft. What happened Charmin?

55 Comments on "Charmin With Aloe: Now With Dandruff"

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Recession happened. No one can afford expensive TP so they had to cut quality to keep it affordable. Or they are just cheap bastards. Either way, the days of quality over quantity are long gone. Any cut to save a buck.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

The bears are at fault somehow. I don't know how, exactly; I just know they are.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I think we should all return to corncobs.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

ill just stick to using the phone book

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I keep trying to tell you all that cats are the way to go...but do you listen???

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

loaf pincher's picture
l 100+ points

Chief, let me know when your ready for corn cobs I bet I could ship you some.Do you prefer white or red cobs? The best way to do it is use 2 red ones and then a white one to see if you need another red one,but you devise your own method that works for you.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

LP....The color doesn't really matter as I have discovered the best method is simply to sniff the cob between applications. I used to try to use less cobs by using both ends but discovered that the extra soap required for hand washing negated any savings in cob volume.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Charmin with Aloe is supposed to be asswipe? Heck, I've been using it to repair the stucco on my house.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Talk about a coincidence....I have been wiping my ass with the stucco chunks that fall from my ceiling!!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, that stucco ceiling doesn't happen to be in the same room as your collection of Playboys?

Dumps Like a Truck's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Oh NO! Really? My friends used to rave about this stuff. I've always hated 'lint-y' TP - and they said the virtue of the aloe stuff was soft, lint-free wiping. No TP pills in yr underwear. I had yet to try it, and now I hear this? Figures! By the time I get around to something good, it starts to suck... ; (

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Just go over to other people's house to shit. When you are done wipe with their bathmats. Best to make a hasty exit afterwards though.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Dook of York's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I'd rather wipe my ass with kittens than with Charmin.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Stick with cheap paper; it's already cut-rate, so they don't have to cut corners. Marcal, Scott's, etc. Never leaves dandruff. Not luxury, but a friend in necessity.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Scott original has been the same all of my life. I like scott because it leaves me dust free in the nostril also.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

The only problem I have with Scott is when I have the liqishits. After the 7th or 8th trip to the pot to squirt my ass feels like I'm wiping with sandpaper.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Me too. However, I tealized that I wiped to hard. If I am gentle yet thorough, my bottom doesn't get as irritated but the roid swells up no matter how gentle I am. I also wipe my eyes with scott after I administer my eye drops twice a day. It never lets me down.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

SP, are you wiping your nose and eyes before or after your ass? Just curious...

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Usually, the ass gets its wipe first. The nose second and the eyes last. I don't use the same squares, PD and I wash my hands in between body parts. It cannot be the other way around as my poop calls me up before I am awake. So first come first serve. After I poop a few times, if it is time to get up, I wash my face, brush my teeth, put hyalira and cerave on my face, put systane in the eyes, do cat bath wipe on pits and privates, take my meds, get dressed, put blush and lipstick on, feed the Boola, get my water then leave for work at approximately 0545. I take my bath at night because I would have to get up at 0430 to bathe in the morning. br>_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

What are cat bath wipes?! Please tell me you haven't figured out how to lick your own pits!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Laughing out loud again, Misses C. No, I don't lick my pits, LOL. i wipe them with a fresh baby wipe or a cerave laden washcloth. I like the baby wipe better because it is easy and fayest.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I love baby wipes. I have OCD about things being clean and I carry baby wipes everywhere. You never know when you're going to need to remove fingerprints from a crime scene.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Laughing out loud again, Misses C. as you are on a roll! Me too, I have some in my car along with a roll of TP. Wait, I used to have TP in my car. I haven't seen it lately so I must have used it.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I prefer to "borrow" a large handful of napkins from resturants when I go out. Never have to buy napkins again.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Oh, I have extra napkins in my car too-from the snowball stand.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I hate when we go get ice cream and they don't offer napkins. Hello I have 4 kids I might as well just throw this ice cream all over my van right now if your stupid ass isn't going to give me some napkins bitch.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I'm never asked, I just take them.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

They kinda frowned upon that last time I tried to crawl through the drive through window.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

You take what: kids or napkins? Is this before or after you lick your pits clean?
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Well, I ask if its a drive through, if I think about it, but at the snowball stand I take a bunch. They come in handy when I sneeze all over the steering wheel. At least its just sneeze. When I worked home health, I would get a sudden onset of nausea and vomit in a bag if not out the door, although I have spewed vomit all over the front seat of my prekatrina car. Since I don't drive for living anymore, I don't get as nauseated during the day. Go figure, I got car sick while driving my own car!br>_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

The best sneezes are fom small children who have a mouth full of cookies. It's great to see a chocolate chip traveling at 80 mph hit the inside of your windsheild.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Laughing out loud at you again, Misses. I would say a chocochip sneeze iss the best too. Kids sneezes are often ridden with thick flying mucus, yuck.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

the pooping scholar's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i'm going out on a limb here but i think trying toilet paper that has aloe or anytime of lotion-esque application within is a bad idea both to invent and to partake in using on one's asscrack. tissues is one thing but dang...

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Maybe those of us with dry, ashy assholes appreciate a good anus moisturization from the lotion.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I have very dry skin and lack of estrogen makes it unbearable. However, since I have been bathing with Cerave, I'm not experiencing as much trauma to my precious privates. My face doesnt hurt as bad anymore either. I have had to put lotion on my starkiss befor and well...I don;t like the slidey moisty feeling in my crack.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

meowpoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

charmin always sucks. you want know why? well, because charmin is too suck. it always falls apart when you are trying to wipe the butt.
_______
-- what smells? shit!

-- what smells? shit!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Now there is some brilliant fucking analysis.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I still find Scott or Marcal tissue quite easy and painless to use; on the rare occasions when my poop is too sticky to wipe away easily, I use a baby wipe after the t.p. wipe, and then I put a little hygienic cleansing lotion (Balneol or equivalent) on some t.p. and rub it in on the anus; it feels good.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

charmin always sucks. you want to know why? well, because charmin is too suck.

Nooooo Charmin sucks because those god damned bears are always flaunting their dingleberry filled asses all over my tv screen.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I have been watching my cat closely and trying to master the art of eliminating TP by licking my asshole. My cat always has a pleased look on its face while performing the act so it may just be the way to go.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

If you like your current choice of toilet paper, check out the other thread now up, "If Big Brother started watching." You may, or may not, be permitted to continue using your personal choice. . . .

Anonymous Cowpoop's picture

Wow, how refreshing, and ironic, people with at least half a brain making me pee and poop my pants laughing so early in the morning, over a subject that is so rife with fecundity!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Well, before you read any further, you may want to address that incontinence problem.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

assfixation's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have to most horrible shitpaper on earth, it gets caught in my vagina and creates spitballs later.
_______
My shit don't stink.

My shit don't stink.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Nothing worse than having a vagina spitball thrown at you in class.
As far as I recall.
In my dreams.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Try the Charmin with Tobasco, that will spice up your life.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I do agree, it's hard to find a roll of TP that won't put snow on your dingleberries. However I've found it happening enough to me, that I had ended up forking over a good bit of money for TP, I've honestly considered stealing TP from an expensive hotels public bathroom(Because they always have the nice stuff), the only issue is smuggling it all out, you can't carry them out in a coat, and just taking the TP from 3 or 4 stalls might not be worth it, unless you get those odd double roll things(then you may get 4 or 8 rolls as opposed to one to each stall and call it quits, but those are usually in fast food restruants here) by the time you get enough they'll probably catch on, and you'll have to haul ass and hope you can chase public transportation or race to the 4th floor of the parking garage without losing the TP.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC.....There are enough wholesale stores in the USA that there is no need to become a thief. Go to Sam's Club and you can get industrial size packs of very serviceable paper at a reasonable price. If you follow through on your thievery plan I hope you end up with fiberglass infused ass-wipe.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

PoopGoesTheWeasel's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I hate when that happens. I've picked up a few other brands where the same ass-dandruff occurs. That's why I always try to finish up with a one of those wet-wipes. Those usually pick up any small pieces stuff in crevices or ass hairs.

For the record, I've never tried Charmin w/ aloe... and I don't think I ever will now.

personal hygiene man's picture

I'm wearing glasses to read the comments, and laughing enough at them to have tears run down my lenses. Wipe again...
All the TP talk is something I am very familiar with as CEO, of sorts, to www.MB3products.com, (yes, a shameless plug)
We have a lotion product, called MB3 Personal Hygiene, that is applied to toilet paper for the final wipe, or two if needed, after release of the beast...
It can be used with any toilet paper, though we prefer two ply!
Your dingle berries issues will be a thing of the past, and our formula does not disintegrate the toilet paper on contact, such as water, spit, foams and sprays will do.
Our product comes in a small 20ml bottle and will pass TSA very easily while you are traveling.
We've eliminated some of the harsher chemicals found in competing products, added some cocoa butter to help tame your exit wound if you're a chili eater, and pH balanced it!
It works very well, and we'd appreciatre your checking it out on our website, which I can almost guarantee you'll enjoy reading anyway.
Order a bottle or three and give one to someone you love!
Comb your hair,
Brush your teeth,
Wash your hands,
MB3, personal hygine that is!
It is possible to get over 100 applications from this product size, therefore pretty economical and convenient to use.
www.MB3products.com
Thanks!
personal hygiene man

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