Mr. Pooh Revisited

// // 35 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Editor's note: A few years ago, we PoopReporters followed the adventures of Teed Off Turd, a surly piece of talking excrement desperately trying to understand a world he didn't want to be in in the first place. A few months ago, we met another sentient piece of human waste: Mr. Pooh. And since our introduction, Mr. Pooh has been getting around.

A poo in a human's world is forced to adhere to human rules. Free will? Neither T.O.T. nor Mr. Pooh have it, although both clearly pine for it. If the scientists who created the Bristol Stool Scale made a continuum charting the psychological attitudes of animated pieces of feces, Mr. Pooh would be at the far opposite end from our late, lamented Teed Off Turd. Mr. Pooh travels mutely, without complaint, his mouth staying shut while his big eyes quietly observe whatever new circumstance his strange life outside the bowl has wrought. Sometimes things go good, and he's in a car with a pretty woman; and sometimes things go bad, and he's chopped in half with a weed whacker; but no matter what happens, his stoic expression never changes. What is that expression in his eyes? Patient suffering? Desperate yearning? Or something more devious -- behind his dispassionate mask, is he perhaps watching? Learning? Scheming? Keenly observing all there is to know about our world outside the bowl, knowing one day he'll use his knowledge against us to wreak his horrible vengeance?

One day we'll learn what Mr. Pooh feels. Until then, we can only observe him wherever he pops up next: Mr. Pooh, a sentient being caught in the terror of an infinite loop. Groundhog Day for the prairie-dogging set.


The following images and captions are provided by Ophelia Chong, Mr. Pooh's creator. Thanks, Ophelia!




Mister Pooh gets Creamed.



For Pooh Only: Caught in a four way, Agent Pooh can only sit back and watch.



Frankenpooh.



Mister Pooh has an accident.



Mister Pooh wears floaties.



Aerodynamic Mister Pooh.



Mister Pooh is a playa…



Behind Enemy Lines: The Dramatic Escape. Captain Pooh pushed over the nose of the Skyraider and led Flight #2 in a diving raid against the silver slash of river that made the Song Ca Valley, he pushed the beads of sweat off his smooth brow...



Mister Pooh goes to Outer Space and finds a black hole.

35 Comments on "Mr. Pooh Revisited"

CaCa Doodle Doo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Very FUNNY!

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points

I especially like the Men are from Mars Mr. Pooh (although Mr. Pooh wearing floaties is very flattering as well).

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

ophelia's picture

Mister Pooh has improved in his styling and sense of humor. Thanks to all of your input (ha)
his output is so much better and smoother.
Yours Turdly,
Mister Pooh's Overseer

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I have never seen a pure white turd. Perhaps Mr. Pooh is a little flushed. Either that, or he is a ghost turd.

It will be interesting to see more of Mr. Pooh's adventures. I guess we will never know the ultimate ending to Teed off Turd. I assume that he got flushed when he fell in the bowl.
_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I love these. Ophelia, where did you find the old magazine covers?
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

AlienPoop's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Oh well, I'm not really one to get exited, but that was interesting, yes ... that is all I have to say about that, sorry for my lack of enthusiasum and my occasional misspellings, but I am one that is hard to impress, I appologize, but it 'twas interesting enough... enough said. AlienPoop

ThePoopMime's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I was looking around and came across theses I love them !


_______
40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

Plop splash poop queen's picture

this is so funny it cracks me up even when im sad i can come here and read these!

Ass-phalt's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Mr. Pooh, you're my hero! The cat's meow! The bee's knees! The asses' molasses!

_______
Ass-phalt,
Rectum Wrecker, Movie Star

Ass-phalt,
Rectum Wrecker, Movie Star

Anonymous Coward's picture

They say heamoroids are fixable as long as they don't come in piles,would this constitute a groovy mr poop?

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

I LOVE these!!!! Ophelia, I first saw them on flickr and hope to see even more.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

Busy afternoon, MSS??

ShitBrains's picture

Mr.Pooh is such an AWSOME guy!!

Bullroarer's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Great idea! Loved the "Pooh is from Uranus" cover.

lost n bound's picture

im sorry but the whole holy skidmarks batman is just priceless i could imagine robin saying that seriously! you guys are crazy lol

Pillsbury Dirt Bag's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


Cute, but from the looks of him a better name might be K.K.Krapman
PDB

PDB

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

The magic is gone. Mr. Pooh is obviously, from his pale color, a dog turd that has been in your back-yard to long.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Mr. Poopsicle's picture

I have problems with my poopp floating...i need help please comment back!! kkthx.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Mr Poopsicle.....First, does your mother know you visit this website? Now to address your floating poopp (most of us don't spell the word with quite that many Ps) the solution is simple. Poo floats because it has air in it. If you will simply reach into the commode and squeeze the air from your turds they will swiftly sink to the bottom. You can clean your hand by running your fingers through your hair.
No need to thank me, I am happy to help little kids with problems.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

Funny shit!

Russell the shitting queen

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

When Mr. Pooh gets angry, he should warn people not to piss him off any more and failing that, he transforms himself into the Incredible Bulk.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Ah.......the incredible power of fiber. I wonder if his stench kicks up a notch?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

idodachachalikeasissygirl's picture

this is the funniest thing i think i have ever seen!!!

Assy Mcgee's picture

I should of called Dr. Poo the other day. My ass was out of control!!

meowpoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

aww.....for a poo that's kinda cute.emailme if you don't belive me.-- and what smells?

-- what smells? shit!

Susie's picture

Hey can you help me I'm Susie,I have been havin shards randomly!Everytime I fart I poop out a slimy shit!I tried just sitting on the pot all day but as soon as I get up and leave the room I shit in my pants!Can you give me some advice how to stop it or how to not fart?Please!I need your help! Susie

Susie's picture

Hey this is Susie again,I just wanted to tell you right as I sent the comment I farted and pooped again so can you spead up the program I am shiting out stuff like fuck! Susie

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Susie....We are having a little trouble solving your problem because none of us know what the word "spead" means. Perhaps you will be good enough to give us a definition.

Your humble servant, Doctor Buttstein.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous Coward's picture

yay!!!! i love these and i love pooping!

Diggin' It!!'s picture

hey susie, eat some immodium tablets, they taste vile but they work.

SIR POOPS ALOT((:'s picture

THE KRUSTY KRAB TOILET IS THE TOILET FOR YUU AND ME.. (DUNUNUHNUT )
WHICH TOILET PAPER DO YUU PREFURR ;;
SOFT OR STRONG ?
WHAT DO YUU DO WHEN YUUU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER? DO YUU USE A TOWEL ? IF SO DO YUU WET IT FIRST OR JUZ GO AT IT , KUZ YOUR ASS DEPENDING ON IT ?

Anti-Turd Warrior's picture

I am the General of the Anti-Turd Brigade.
Field report 12/3/2010 somewhere in Turdistan.
Turdqaeda has ramped up their terrorist attacks on allied toilet installations.
Allied casualties are on the rise.
C-5 Galaxies are flying in heavy equipement to break the blockade.
The attacks on our pipelines have been averaging twice a week now and the Plunger Regiment has been working overtime to prevent further blockades, flooded bathrooms and Turd Soldiers infiltrating the barracks.
Turdqaeda soldiers have been using IEDs on our toilet facilities after our morning excercises causing irreversible damage to the off to work squads.
The Navy's USS Enterprise Carrier fleet is being sent over to counter the Marine assaults Turdqaeda has been inflicting on our basees.
Osunkin Bin Turdin has released more videos claiming responsibilty.
General Anti Turd Warrior out!

Anonymous Lingering Fart's picture

Sir poops alot,you should get your head checked.

Anonymous's picture

We all know where Pooh comes from but what about Tigger, Piglet and eeeyore?

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