The State of the Poonion: September 7, 2006

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PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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You may recognize The Captain's Log as the little news items on the front page that I never, ever update. Well, it's time that changed. With the book coming out in the spring, I'm going to use this feature more often to keep you up to date and excited about all the things that (I hope) will happen as PoopReport gets slightly famouser -- interviews I'm conducting, schwag I'm creating, and every other way I slowly sell out this site in order to make a few bucks. I'm not writing this to stroke my own ego, but rather to make sure that all you regulars know what's happening as things begin to get really interesting. Oh, and to stroke my own ego.

So let's start with some news about the book. Offically titled Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product, it is slated to hit the stores April, 2007. According to Adam, my editor at Feral House, the distributor will begin pimping it in the next month or two. It will be around 280 pages, a 6x9 trade paperback, and will retail for $15.95. A bargain!

Perhaps most spectacularly, the foreword is written by an actual celebrity: Paul Provenza, the actor and comedian who directed The Aristocrats. Why him? Because his next movie is one near and dear to every PoopReporter's heart: an adaptation of the famous kids' book Everybody Poops.

In Journal of Ass Production news: I placed the order with the printer yesterday. As I mentioned on my stupid little MySpace blog, it's always terrifying to plunk down multiple hundreds of dollars, no matter what it's for. Even though I have confidence that I'll sell enough to earn back my investment -- plus a couple hundred more that I can invest back in the site and/or use to buy crack whores -- it's still a lot of money. But it's a great piece of reading -- you should buy one.

"Crack whores," by the way, is a pun.

In not-Dave news: Someone from SpikeTV contacted The Big Wiper with some questions about his Death of Elvis article for a quiz show they're doing. Hopefully he'll get credit when the show goes on the air.

Finally: I did an interview last week with Angie's List Magazine, circulation 500,000 (or so they tell me). The reporter and I spent an hour talking about toilets -- about their history, about their future, and about their true purpose. This is one of the main points of the book: that the toilet was created in the 1700s and 1800s not as a tool for sanitation, but, as my research has shown, as a means for wealthy Victorians to separate themselves from the stinking masses. (I'll talk more about this in a future Captain's Log.) Anyway, I must have impressed her -- she told me they're sending out a photographer to take a picture of me for the article! She asked me for ideas as to where we might take the picture; I suggested the CBGBs bathroom. We may also do me sitting on a toilet on the lawn in the middle of Central Park. Anybody have any other ideas?

16 Comments on "The State of the Poonion: September 7, 2006"

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

This is great, Dave. Let me know when you decide to turn Poopreport into a political party or religion. If nothing else, the tax exept status would be nice.

What about an AM talk show?

Also, if you ever turn Poopreport in the sort of organization where you need henchmen, I would like to put my name at the top of that list.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

"Exempt," I mean.

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

Some cool ideas Dave. Who would have ever thought you could become famous just because you make a site visited by millions about something as simple as poop!

Yah-Hoo to you Dave!

_______
Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I'm so happy for Dave-O because he put up this site for a reason - the humorous view of poop - and because of an obviously-needed outlet in our society to ask questions about something we all do but are told is shameful, the site has blossomed into something more. We all should be proud to be a part of it.

I will be forwarding the JOAP II and the book he wrote to others.

I'm thankful and it's not even November.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Dave - why did you turn to Feral House as your publisher when you could have started your own publishing company - Fecal House. That would be the shit.

_______
"Vini, Vidi, Vomiti" (we came, we saw, we got sick on the plane")

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Keeping in mind the hoity toilety beginnings of the commode, I think the fancy pants bathroom in Central Park, would be a good place to have a photo shoot. However, the throne like elevation of the CBGBs shitter, is also apoopriate.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

I like the Central Park idea; it needs to have a recognizable back-drop, though. Like the carousel in the corner of the background, or something uniquely Central Park.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

"something uniquely Central Park"
....Like a mugging, or a homeless guy crapping on a park bench?


_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Well, the picture wouldn't come out very well at night.

And the homeless guy wouldn't poop ON the bench; he has to SLEEP there!

The mugging, well, the mugging could be funny.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

It looks like we're going with CBGBs. I've been practicing expressions that look both intellectual and disgusted at the same time. It's not easy.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Read some William F. Buckley essays.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Nice "State of the Poonion" address Dave, but remember - the `Grand State of PoopReport` is an international entity. We are an independant body, subject to no state.

The voice of sanity

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Actually, we are in a state here, a state of flux

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

William F. Buckley asked me to pass this along to you (regarding expressions of disdain and intellectual seriousness simultaneously):

Ummm, I would deign to say that the enmity I feel-luh for those who misappropriate their idiosyncratic-kuh reactions to the indelicacies of body functions-suh do not dissuade me one iota-uh from my predilection-nuh to ramble obsessively among tangential points of order-ruh, which may or may not have been proposed-duh as a prerequisite for a modicum of respectability amidst the quagmire of prejudicial-luh observations which accrue of necessity not only to the body politic-kuh, but the general population, as it may be termed-duh, when approaching scatological issues which unfortunately have long been designated-duh as wholly unfit for public consumption-nuh, and I do not mean that literally, of course, but in that intellectual sense in which I plunge with the zealotry-uh of a fundamentalist tent revivalist who has had his Hires Root Beer laced with a soupcon of hallucinogenic material, whose origin-nuh will forever remain arcane and ultimately-uh undiscernible. Thank you-uh.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Thanks Wiper, for Bill`s coherent support for Dave`s " State of the Poonion" address.

As Bunga pointed out, we are in a state of "flux" - but we are, ahem, ironically, not bogged down in our own campaigning feces.

Let`s rally for a new state - The Defecatory Republic of Fecal People.....mmmmm, agreed CEP...too commie sounding....what else can we call it?

The voice of sanity

Poohdlepie's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

As far as location goes -- any chance of two photos? An outhouse AND a palatial throne? The simple "urge to purge" versus the slick "designer descent"? Congrats on your sphincter-like grasp of poop promotion!!
_______
stoolstudy101

stoolstudy101

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