The interminable wait for blissful release

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PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Way back in the dark ages of the year 2000, PoopReport ran a contest to coin a term describing the incredible feeling of universal oneness that only comes after an especially satisfying poop. ("Poophoria" was the term I best identified with.) I wish we had also named that equally-overwhelming feeling of anticipation when there's a mountain in your gut but you're forced to postpone its release. Because that's how I feel right now. There are still two months until my book is released, but the excitement in my gut is churning like I've been sucking down raw spinach.

As of my last conversation with the editor at Feral House, my book (entitled Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product, in case you haven't yet tattooed the title to your wrist) is in layout. The designer is setting the type and complimenting my witty and enlightening prose with about thirty visuals ranging from 19th Century woodcuts depicting the dangers of the then-nascent sewage infrastructure to prints of Piero Manzoni's Merda d'Artista. Once the design is complete, I'll examine a proof for typos and math errors, and then off to the printer it goes. I've been told to expect a late-April release, although Amazon claims May 1. (Yes, it's been listed on Amazon! Yes, it's ranked #803,588 in sales!)

I'm passing the time until the book comes out by preparing for the second-most exciting thing on my schedule: the University of Iowa's Symposium on Obscenity. On March 1, I'll be in glorious Iowa City itself to speak on a subject I'm passionate about: the behavior of the news media when confronted by poop. The title of my presentation: "All Stinks Considered: The News Media, the Bathroom, and Fear of Matter Out of Place." Joining me at the conference are two fellow PoopReporters: Marisol Cortez, who wrote that great academic analysis of PoopReport ("Brown Meets Green: The Political Fecology of PoopReport.com"), and Danny Gerling, whose work has graced this site as well.

Will poop play in Iowa? I'll try to record my presentation and post it on Youtube so you can see for yourself.

Since my talk in Iowa precedes the book by about two months, I've printed some cool postcards to hand to anyone I meet. They encourage people to sign up for the contact list so they're the first to know the release date, as well as information about interviews, readings, and anything else that may happen. If you want one, email me your address. (And if you want to help promote the book by sending them to your friends or family, let me and I'll send you some. Make sure you tell me how many you need.)

One thing people on the mailing list will hear more about: the book release party is tentatively -- and I mean tentatively -- scheduled for May 8 here in New York City. It'll feature poop-related musical performances, comedians, short films, and a reading by yours truly. If there's any interest, I'll also schedule an exclusive gathering just for any PoopReporters who want to come.

So March is exciting in Iowa, and May is exciting everywhere else. If you can't wait, there's always the The Journal, which I bring not just for shameless promotion, but also because I have literally only FOUR more copies of issue #2. And I won't be doing another print run until well after the book has been released. So if your feeling of impending release is as urgent and insatiable as mine, this is your last chance for literary excremental gratification until Poop Culture is released. Don't miss out.

7 Comments on "The interminable wait for blissful release"

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Hmmm, got one for the long wait, driving 70 miles to work, with a full bladder, biding my time until I reach the restroom..."anpissipation"

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Ok, got one..."Trepoodatiousness"

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points

here's one too: "crappenstance" - when you shit yourself at work your just a victim of crappenstance. It could also mean the stance you take as you are crappin'.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

By the way -- the Iowa presentation is open to the public. Any PoopReporters in the area are welcome to come...

Anonymous Coward's picture

poopanasia
The humane way!

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

You`ve got a case of Prefecaltension Dave.

The voice of sanity

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

shitwit, so a good description of crappenstance is when you crappempance at work.

Here's one for when someone gets over a long bout of constipation: emancipation constpation.

Writing a poop story: blog your log.

_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

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