The calm before the (shit)storm

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I sit here a little frightened, having just got off the phone with a major newswire service. They're going to run a story about Poop Culture in the next couple days, they tell me -- a 150-word announcement going directly to over eight hundred media outlets about who I am, what the book is about, and how they can contact me/interview me/make me famous. Yesterday I was invited to speak at a 500-person auditorium at a university in Baltimore in late April. In early May, I'm going to have an official Poop Culture release party here in Brooklyn, and a week after that, I'm going to do a thing in a theater in Philly with a comedian friend of mine.

These are rumblings that portend bigger things. I've read enough stories on this site to know how it works: I feel things churning, the nervous shifting, the sudden stabs of warning, but I'll think that I can handle it; and then suddenly my book will explode all over the literary scene.

Poop Culture comes out in about three weeks. You can preorder it on Amazon now, or you can wait to find it at a store near you (assuming there's an indie bookstore or a Barnes and Noble "Superstore," whatever that means, near you -- regular B&N's aren't carrying it. Yet.). Advance copies will be going out to reviewers soon, and one day in the very near future a box will arrive and I'll finally hold in my hand the product of years' worth of exertion and breath in what I sure hope will be only that new book smell and nothing else along with it.

Some key dates:

  • April 15 (?). Poop Culture hits the stores.
  • April 30. I speak at the Brown Center (seriously!) at the Maryland Institute College of Art. Much more info to come.
  • May 8. Poop Culture release party at Galapagos in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Featuring comedians, musicians, short films, and yours truly! Confirmed performers include Bobby Tisdale, Gabe and Jenny, Stuckey and Murray, and Gregg Gethard, with more to come.
  • May 19 (?). A night of poop culture and poop humor in Philly, with Gregg Gethard and friends.

More to come? I hope so.

Finally, I've posted the video from my lecture at the University of Iowa a few weeks ago. Bad lighting, not the best recording, a few technical difficulties, and sometimes it's hard to read the projection there on Youtube. But if you're interested in my thoughts on poop and the mass media, here they are.

Part I:

Part II:

All the events I listed above, by the way, will be open to the public -- I encourage all PoopReporters to come. I'm kinda freaked out by everything that is suddenly happening, so it will be nice for me if I can meet some familiar folks along the way. Also, if you know people at any universities or bookstores or anywhere else that might enjoy a lecture on the intellectual aspects of poop humor, start working the phones!

12 Comments on "The calm before the (shit)storm"

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

My ass is tingling in anticipation.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Dave, if you ever make it out near L.A., you can count on me to provide free tour guide services and a home-cooked meal!

I'll be sure to scrub the toilets for you! :)

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I am waiting with held breath. This should be quite an entertaining poop adventure. Congratulations, Dave!

Behold! My new farting super power! BRAPP!!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

April 15th will be the 95th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.

Just thought you'd want to know.

Best wishes!

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points

Just imagine what it'll be like when Dave's a big huge megastar and all PoopReporters can look at their friends and say with pride, "I knew him before he was shit!"

It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Anonymous Coward's picture


You should take a page out of the Brittney/Paris handbook to being famous. Don't wear any pants and when you're getting out of your limmo, bend over to pickup something and 'innocently' let the papparattzi see your brown star shining! That'll get you some extra press.

Anal About Poop's picture
l 100+ points

Don't forget the Sex Video that gets "stolen" and the shaved head!

Anonymous Coward's picture

AAP - you're so right. The Stolen Sex Tape is an important tactic not to be overlooked. Unfortunately (I think) for Dave, to maintain product focus this will have to poop-chute sex.

Toots N. McCrack's picture
l 100+ points

Awww, that video was great. I found it especially endearing that you said under your breath, "oh no" the couple times the screen went out-- and very happy that it came back on without a hitch so you could continue your train of thought. I'm ordering my copies (one for me and one for my dad for his b-day) Best of luck to you and your endeavors....:)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Wow, I wish Dave would come to MO. I would like to meet the man behind the magic of PR.I would also love it if we had like a yearly meeting somewhere. I'd like to see all my PR buddies face to face.
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Anonymous's picture

I strictly recommend not to wait until you earn enough amount of money to buy goods! You should just take the home loans or auto loan and feel yourself comfortable

Anonymous's picture

My family and I were there during the Swine Flu epidemic in 2009 and again in June of 2010, both times for one week. My family always talks about it and if there's one place my 6 year old son dreams to go back to it's the Barcelo Maya Palace. We've never stayed at the Barcelo Maya Tropical, although I've shot video of it.

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