Shit word gets new news anchor in deep shit

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Poor A. J. Clemente: he may have established a new world's record for losing a job. Seconds into his first broadcast, he committed the unpardonable sin of mouthing not one but two taboo words into his microphone. He said he thought the mike was off and he was practicing his teasers (whatever teasers may be), when he sent the words "fucking shit" through the ether and into the ears of countless listeners in the Bismark, North Dakota area . . . listeners who had probably not heard those words since Sitting Bull was spotted coming over a rise in the prairie, accompanied by tens of thousands of whooping Sioux eager to engage in a scalp-fest.

A. J. was released from his contract even though he rightfully should have been praised for having spoken two words of such usefulness. Both words can be used as nouns, adjectives, verbs, etc. Of the two, the "F" word is probably the greater. Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey would have his style greatly cramped if it was removed from his vocabulary, but this is Poop Report, so we must defend the other word with the most vigor.

"Shit" the word may even have a bit of onomonopia in it, but I can't say for sure; I have never had my ear close enough to an emerging turd to verify and have no plans on placing myself in such proximity in the future.

Shit has a great variety of meanings and can indicate qualities from the very lowest to the highest. Now if I may be excused, I'm off to quaff a few glasses of good shit to whet my appetite for whatever shit is on the supper menu tonight.

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1 Comments on "Shit word gets new news anchor in deep shit"

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

"Fucking Shit"? I am married and I say unabashedly that I would rather be fucking The Missus than fucking shit. She's a much more active participant in the process than I would imagine any turd could possibly be. Few things are more pathetic than a Lay that just lays there, even if it is at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

That is, of course, unless you think he might have been talking about Anal Sex. If the bowel hasn't been properly evacuated prior to putting your pecker in that place, well, you might well be fucking shit at the same time. Which makes me wonder, in that scenario are you fucking shit or is shit fucking you? Just a thought...

Yo quiero Taco Bell.