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The 2 Girls 1 Cup defense: a scat produc
Submitted by Dave
May 8, 2008, 74 Comments

"You talk about art? What is art? Art is what artists do. If it shocks you, it's art. One of the things art should do is make you think and question things." While the US government seems content (so far) to allow its citizens to read funny poop stories, it has drawn the line at allowing them watch...

Porcelain throne to remain gold
Submitted by daphne
April 21, 2008, 16 Comments

The world stock exchange has recently seen quite a rise in the price of gold. Over the past quarter-century, gold per ounce had not once topped the nine hundred dollar mark -- but this March, it came within ten dollars of reaching one thousand dollars per ounce. This type of news doesn't usually...

Poop rewrites the natural history books
Submitted by daphne
April 9, 2008, 29 Comments

As a child, I remember going to the Pittsburgh Museum of Natural History for class trips. We usually had a tour guide who would let us touch an arrowhead or a spear or something before describing how these fossils and artifacts helped scientists of today learn about our ancestors. One year we...

Orange County's solution: ending th
Submitted by Dave
April 2, 2008, 20 Comments

"Never mind modern technology," said the residents of San Diego, as I discussed back in August of 2006. "Never mind science and reason. Never mind the billions of dollars of research that have gone into developing filtering and cleansing equipment capable of purifying water down to the atomic level...

Woman on train gives birth to bouncing b
Submitted by daphne
March 28, 2008, 24 Comments

If while traveling by train in India you are stricken with a case of Delhi Belly and need to use the bathroom lest you crap yourself, you'll find the toilet on board interesting. It doesn't flush, or at least not in the sense that we, the American public, might define flushing. A hole in the...

Beijing builds its Olympic pedestals
Submitted by Turdle Dove
March 24, 2008, 14 Comments

In its preparation for hosting the 2008 Summer Olympics, the Chinese government has been engaged in massive construction and renovations in Beijing. One of the funnier stories to come out of this project was on the campaign to fix all the signs written in broken English. Now the Chinese are eying...

Florida Senator looks out for number two
Submitted by daphne
March 19, 2008, 16 Comments

Over the years we've enjoyed several front page stories from PoopReporters who have been forced to use creativity to get clean Down There because the underpaid, polyester-clad, pimply-faced burger jockey behind the counter forgot to check the toilet paper dispenser. This problem, though it's a...

The saga of the two-year toilet sitter
Submitted by Shits Happily I...
March 15, 2008, 19 Comments

You're probably already aware of this incredibly fucked-up story. Pam Babcock of Ness City, Kansas, spent the last two years sitting on the toilet. She was removed a few days ago only after her boyfriend, thirty-six-year-old Kory McFarren, finally called authorities. When the cops arrived at the...

Butt-print artist settles for a minor as
Submitted by Dave
March 13, 2008, 2 Comments

You may recall the plight of Stephen Murmur, butt-print artist. He's the art teacher from Virginia who was fired in December 2006 after his students discovered a video of him creating his masterpieces: that is, dipping has ass in paint and sitting on the canvas. Backed by the ACLU, he sued the...

"Poop is the Star" with Pet Bu
Submitted by Dave
March 4, 2008, 7 Comments

Editor's note: what follows is a press release. I don't normally consider myself a corporate shill, but this contest is right up this site's back alley. I fully expect a PoopReporter to win this. Kristine from Dux Public Relations writes: "If you love poop, it's time to sing about it. Pet Butler,...

Is Finland keeping toilets safe? Or is b
Submitted by Dave
February 26, 2008, 14 Comments

In the bathroom utopia of the glorious future, pristine municipal facilities will await on every corner, their stall doors wide open to all comers and goers. This utopia will come into being only when the golden brown rule ("Doo unto others…") is held sacrosanct -- until then, as long as public...

Can I smell you now? Good.
Submitted by Logjam
February 20, 2008, 22 Comments

When I fly, I ramp up my iPod and clamp on my headphones as soon as I sit down in my aisle seat. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to forget, as quickly as I can, exactly how many body parts of unknown origin are within five feet of my nose and mouth. I close my eyes and listen to the...

When peeping and peeing collide
Submitted by daphne
February 15, 2008, 36 Comments

There's a ladies' room at Hi-Tide Sales, Inc., in Fort Pierce, Florida, and it shares a wall with the adjacent men's room. This past December, a female employee of the establishment -- a place that sells boat lifts -- noticed a hole in that wall while using the toilet. Maybe it caught her eye as...

The battle against disruptive farting
Submitted by MSG
February 8, 2008, 21 Comments

Intentional farting has now been classified as a "detention offense" in Maine. At the Camden-Rockport Middle School, a group of eighth-grade boys have apparently made a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest farts. Because of this, as the eighth grade's informal newspaper The Fire...

Lewiston sewer line boasts the granddadd
Submitted by daphne
January 30, 2008, 39 Comments

When I hear the words "sewer", "monster", and "Maine", what comes to mind is a demonic alien clown with silver eyes and fangs. Stephen King's It -- a novel about a sewer-dwelling specter who rips a little boy's arm off in the first thirty pages of the book -- redefined how I consider sewer grates...

ACLU and Larry Craig agree: bathroom tim
Submitted by daphne
January 24, 2008, 19 Comments

The American Civil Liberties Union has upped the ante on the Larry Craig affair by suggesting that people who have sex in closed restroom stalls can expect a certain level of privacy. Larry Craig, as you know, has changed his mind following his October guilty plea after being accused of soliciting...

Links roundup: follow the yellow-drip ro
Submitted by Dave
January 21, 2008, 6 Comments

What's going on beyond our little brown corner of the Internet? Well, first of all, I'm not the only PoopReporter in India! KesAFloyd writes: "I've moved to India for four months, doing research for my university. I've started a blog as an extended poop report. Zach says: "I wrote a humorous (I...

Bus driver's bathroom break brings
Submitted by daphne
January 17, 2008, 13 Comments

David Bown of Sydney, Australia, has been working on renovations for the past couple of years to get his home "just the way he liked it". Tweaking broken tiles and floorboards now seems small in the scheme of things, however, because this week his house has bigger problems. How big? Bus big....

If you build it, they will go? Not in NY
Submitted by Dave
January 13, 2008, 39 Comments

Last week, New York City unveiled the first of twenty futuristic new public toilets intended to give desperate citizens a choice beyond waddling to the nearest Starbucks or crouching behind the nearest trashcan. The city is relying on state-of-the-art technology to avoid the crack addicts,...

Air Tran doesn't care if you sit in
Submitted by daphne
January 2, 2008, 29 Comments

Two Sundays ago, Jennifer Castellano took an Air Tran flight from West Palm Beach to Boston. Shortly after being seated, Ms. Castellano claims she noticed that her pants were soaking wet. "I then realized I was saturated in urine from the smell," she claimed. Here's what really ticks me off...

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