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Al Roker, shameless shitter, goes comman
Submitted by daphne
January 22, 2013, 4 Comments

A few years ago Al Roker underwent bariatric surgery in order to lose weight, and the jolly fat man we were used to seeing report the weather on NBC's "Today Show" became a jolly thin man. For those of you who do not know, bariatric surgery involves one of a few techniques to shrink the amount of...

Pee at your own risk: The Warsaw Express
Submitted by daphne
December 29, 2012, 4 Comments

If you are traveling to Warsaw by train this time of year, you might want to invest in some adult diapers, lest your nether regions end up in an adult version of this scene: ”Artur Kaminski a passenger on a train taking him from Szcecin, a Baltic port city, to Warsaw, opened the door to one of the...

New York's Siobhan Meow: cat poop p
Submitted by daphne
December 12, 2012, 8 Comments

Jupiter was one of the hundreds of cats that New York City artist Siobhan Meow has loved and cared for over the years. He passed away this October, but not before giving Siobhan an inspiration ... a wet, stinky, artistic inspiration. Jupiter's doodying on a piece of canvas prompted Siobhan to...

Cee Lo Green earns honorary PoopReport s
Submitted by daphne
December 11, 2012, 6 Comments

Christina Aguilera is in the news this week, not for her own antics or amazing singing voice, but for outing Cee Lo Green once and for all as a chronic farter on "The Ellen Degeneres Show." "Well, that's why I have the fan," she admitted, and then claimed that "everyone knows." (Much like Larry...

Single malt urinals? Yes, we're ta
Submitted by daphne
November 29, 2012, 5 Comments

Many Poopreporters have reported to us about civet cat poop coffee, or Kopi Luwak. No one, however, told me about diabetic urine whiskey. Yes, I said diabetic urine whiskey. James Gilpin has Type 1 diabetes. His body does not properly produce insulin, and so he uses injections of the chemical...

Man shot over botched booty call and clo
Submitted by daphne
November 20, 2012, 3 Comments

”My momma warned me about people like you.” I think we’ve all heard this before. In my house, my father warned me about different people, however, not my mother. He would see someone and say, “Now stay away from him. I know he wants to date you, but he’s got kids. You don’t know how...

Cell phones: Dirtier than your toilet se
Submitted by daphne
November 10, 2012, 4 Comments

News station KARE 11 from the Minneapolis/St. Paul area of Minnesota recently reported on an experiment news crew members performed regarding the cleanliness of cell phones. Their verdict? Yuck! They're filthy. In fact, they easily are capable of carrying more bacteria than that which can be...

Political dog poop bags: Now your candid
Submitted by daphne
October 18, 2012, 2 Comments

Poop is universal. We all poop. From the butts of the most humble New York City street person to our world leaders, poop debuts. It is the goal of to bring people together over poop humor, all of us, and because of this fact we rarely like to discuss politics. The divisive nature...

Fecal transplants more successful throug
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
October 3, 2012, 5 Comments

After surviving a near-fatal car accident, beautiful young Kaitlin Hunter found herself battling a devastating bacterial infection in her colon that also threatened her life. The good bacteria in her innards were wiped out along with the bad ones, and she ended up with a life-threatening colony of...

Zimbabwe citizens asked to synchronise t
Submitted by daphne
September 28, 2012, 3 Comments

Berkeley Breathed's Bloom County character Binkley thought of it first: Flush all the toilets at once! Of course, he was talking about all the toilets in the Pentagon, and his goal was to "create mass higgelty-piggelty," not to unblock a clogged and failing city sewer system. In the city of...

Star Toilet Paper: Wipe your butt with s
Submitted by daphne
September 19, 2012, 1 Comments

Personally, I miss colored toilet paper. White paper is boring, and while the average wiper might not consider it, the bleaching process that toilet paper goes through to become boring is bad for the environment *. I also like to read in the bathroom. At home I can grab a copy of Tolkien'sThe...

Poop: Possibly residing on a hotel telev
Submitted by the thin brown line
August 30, 2012, 4 Comments

So you just arrived to a hotel destination after a 16-hour, one-layover flight from Hell. You are tired. Your clothes are clinging to body residue from that long trip through three airport terminals, sitting on your ass in a small space for long stretches of time, and a taxi ride on the Autobahn...

Our Native American ancestors:What their
Submitted by the thin brown line
August 28, 2012, 2 Comments

In Arizona, 20 human specimens of coprolite have been dissected to tell tales of dietary fare and a possible link to Type II diabetes. Dating back to A.D. 1150, poop samples from Antelope Cave reveal a diet so rich in fiber that, by today's standards, would ease the most stubborn human...

Gates Foundation Reinvent The Toilet Res
Submitted by daphne
August 18, 2012, 2 Comments

Up north of here in Seattle earlier this week, Bill Gates awarded the winners of the Reinvent the Toilet Fair. (We discussed the contest and its purpose this Wednesday in a previous article and attached video.) The fair's big winner represented the California Institute of Technology. Michael...

Lacerations from faulty exploding toilet
Submitted by daphne
August 17, 2012, 2 Comments

Attention, Home Depot and Lowe's Shoppers! Attention, all butt owners! Attention! If you bought the Flushmate III Pressure-Assisted Flushing System or a toilet with one installed, you might want to thank your lucky stars that your butt isn't lacerated! What? Lacerated? As it rectal ribbons?...

Michael Jackson bird poop image: Washed
Submitted by daphne
August 15, 2012, 3 Comments

Brandon Tudor's 1996 Cadillac Deville was honored for a few days with what Brandon thought was an image of Michael Jackson created by a splattering of bird poop. He was driving when the bird crapped on his window, and he immediately saw an image of the King of Pop, (the white version). So what...

Excessive turdage clogs BART escalator!
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
July 26, 2012, 4 Comments

PoopReport residents of the San Francisco Bay area might be familiar with the Market Street Civic Center Station of the Bay Area Rapid Transit [BART]. City Hall, the War Memorial, San Francisco’s Opera House, and the main branch of the San Francisco Public Library can all be found within walking...

Put your feet where your ass once was!
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
June 21, 2012, 11 Comments

The city of Bellingham, Washington deserves a pat on the back for going where possibly no city has gone before in the practice of attaining sustainability. When your potty wears out and you replace it, what happens to your old one? If your a regular reader of Poop Report you may recall a newswire...

NYC arsonist claims arson target bogarte
Submitted by daphne
January 6, 2012, 2 Comments

Ray Lazier Legend was arrested earlier this week for attempting to set five different New York City locations on fire with Molotov cocktails on New Year's Day. He hurled glass bottles filled with fuel at a convenience store, three personal residences, and the Imam Al-Khoei Foundation, an Islamic...

New fashion and marketing for the bathro
Submitted by daphne
January 3, 2012, 5 Comments

The idea is old, but the look is new. When I was a child an extra toilet paper roll cover in my gramma's bathroom was made out of the top half of a baby doll and a crocheted skirt bottom. Do you remember them? Grammas would make them in all different colors and sizes, like this one: Today...

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