Boca Raton woman smears dog poop on shitty neighbor

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Amy Goldberg was arrested last week for doing what a large percentage of the population has probably secretly fantasized about -- smearing dog poop on the shirt a yard-dirtying repeat offender. The police charged her with battery against a person over the age of 65, which in this case, in Florida law, is the intentional, non-consensual touching/hitting/splatting with dog poop of another person.

Goldberg lives in the golf community of Woodfield Country Club. On the day of the incident, she claims that her 67 year-old neighbor was letting her dog poop on Goldberg's lawn ... again. It seems this neighbor has been letting her dog poop on Goldberg's lawn for some time, and on this day she showed no sign of attempting to pick up the poop ... again.

Fed up, Goldbergy came outside and began yelling at her crappy neighbor to pick up the poop. The neighbor said that she was going to pick up the poop until Goldberg began yelling, at which point she decided she was not. When she refused, Goldberg picked up the poop with a plastic baggy, and here is where the stories vary:

  • Goldberg says that she threw the bag at the neighbor, who ended up smearing it on herself. According to the suspect, the neighbor did it herself to frame her.
  • The neighbor claims that Goldberg approached her with the poop and smeared it on her her.

I am tempted to believe the neighbor, even if I think she's a jerk. Rich people who leave their messes on other people's property usually do so because they consider themselves above picking up poop. They are going to avoid being contaminated by it at all costs.

Goldberg was released the day after she was arrested on bail, and a court date is pending. I am dying to get my hands on the transcript.

Of all the years I have belonged to this site, this is the first time I have ever read documented evidence that someone became so fed up with a lazy neighbor that he or she exacted turd terrorism directly onto the neighbor's person. While I cannot endorse such behavior, I think this may be the one way to make sure that a neighbor will find another place for Fido to let loose. If I was a snotty, lazy dog owner who thought the entire world was my dog's toilet, I would most likely avoid the yard owned by someone who might smear crap on my clothes in the future. Maybe this is why chimpanzees do it.

This story was also a good example of entitled douche behavior. What nerve must someone have to call the police after such an incident? The neighbor refused to pick up dog poop because her neighbor yelled at her. Waaahhhhh... Cry me a river, upscale residence golf course lady. The struggle is real, isn't it? You refused to pick up your dog's crap because no one's going to chastise you, and you probably deserved to wear a bit of it. But to call the police afterward? There are George Zimmermans running unchecked all over Florida, so yeah, the police have better things to do than to handle your self-fulfilling prophecy of a dry cleaning bill.

You are lucky that Mrs. Goldberg didn't have you fined every time you did this.

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6 Comments on "Boca Raton woman smears dog poop on shitty neighbor"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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There was an account several years ago about a fed-up neighbor who tossed a shovelful of doggy poo onto the dog owners screen door but this certainly goes beyond that. I also am against turd terrorism but must admit there seems to be a certain amount of poetic justice involved here.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

daphne's picture
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I have to admit that, when I read this, I laughed. The thought of some woman going all commando on a sneaky turd Nazi left me in a slight fit of the giggles.

I have never seen someone do this, either, but I have seen someone tie the poop back onto the dog. Over a decade ago, we lived in Fort Knox. I was walking Gator around the block one day and saw a tiny dog taking a crap about 60 feet away from us or so. I decided to wait until the dog was back in its house before going forward, as Gator saw little dogs as walking snacks.

A woman came out of the apartment where the dog was pooping and began walking toward it with a baggie and something else, and that was when a woman across the street leaned out her door and started calling to the dog. "Oh," I thought, "the woman across the street is the owner." Then what was the other woman doing?

The one with the baggie gave the little dog a treat while picking up his poop, and then she tied the baggie with its poop to the dog's collar with a twistie tie. Only then did she let the dog go back across the street.

I would bet that little dog was a repeat offender.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I've been thinking of engaging in some turd terrorism, but not actually attacking the owner with their dog's crap. I live in a townhouse community that backs up to a community of single family homes on 0.25 acre lots. For some reason, the assholes on the other side of the fence feel that it's okay to bring their little shitters onto our community's property and shit them in the area where our children play -- and not clean up after the pet.

I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start a dog shit collection in a bucket and then cover the first 5 or so yard to the gate on the SFH side with dog liquefied dog shit.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I don't think that would count as terrorism Deja, I think you would just be considered a divine instrument of justice.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous's picture

Its a sad day when a NAZI Doggie owner must chose between picking up their dogs droppings or pick up a phone to call the Shit Police! I think I would be just a tad ashamed to be on paper as having let my little poopies turdlettes be left behind and then smeared on me, rather than pick them up? Seems the one who should have been arrested was the original offender, who surely cannot come to court with "clean hands" after this, or CAN SHE????? If not for her actions, there would have been no reaction, so therefore the crime of the shirt shit smearing would never have occurred!

Anonymous's picture

My father lived next door, and he had a very large dog. Since he was my father, he apparently thought nothing of letting his very large dog crap in my yard all winter long.

As spring neared and the snow melted, I had approximately 100 mountains of turd on my lawn; each one weighing about 1.5 pounds.

I went to the pet store and bought a pooper scooper. I went around my lawn gathering all of these turd volcanoes, and I deposited them right beside my father's driver side door, in a mountain of dog crap approximately 12 miles high. Maybe it was only 2' high.

In any event, Dad came home from work, parked, and stepped mid-calf in his own dog's foul leavings.

Guess who never let his dog crap in my yard again?