Ask Poopreport: Got Sick On My Own Restaurant's Food


After a rather horrific ride on the Porcelain Express, "Stew" asks for advice:

Dear PoopReport,

I work in a restaurant as a waiter. We are allowed to eat for free at the end of the night if something is left over. If nothing is left over, we can eat for half-price. Last night, some soup was left over -- beef french onion. I ate a huge bowl, the bottom of the pan. It was delicious.

Two hours later I was in a world of pain. I was lying on the bathroom floor, caught between shitting myself and puking. I had my friend take me to the emergency room. On the way to the ER, I shit my pants and stained the passenger side seat upholstery in his car. An hour later the ER doctor said I had food poisoning. (My friend thinks the nurse called me back so quickly because I stunk.)

My question is do I go after my boss to pay the bill for my friend to clean his car and for my ER co-pay? I'm looking at 100 dollars for the ER bill, and my friend says a car wash will charge 100 to 130 dollars to steam clean the inside of the car. The only thing I had to eat after 5 p.m. was that beef french onion soup. Do I risk being fired if I give my boss the bills? I shit myself in my friend's car, PoopReport! Help me out!


"Stew" (ing in my own shit)

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4 Comments on "Ask Poopreport: Got Sick On My Own Restaurant's Food"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

You really have no proof that the food you ate had anything to do with your traumatic experience. It is called "food" poisoning but does not necessarily come from eating food. It could just as well be called "misplaced bacteria syndrome'" You might have wound up with a bacteria in your tummy that would have been more at home in someone else's asshole.

Did you wash your hands before eating? If you went to the potty room that day and either didn't wash your hands afterward or washed them poorly that may have been the cause of your distress rather than anything your boss did.

"For most cases of food poisoning, symptoms tend to come on within one to three days of eating the contaminated food. However, for some types of food poisoning, this 'incubation period' can be as long as 90 days." This information was gleaned from the website;

My personal opinion is that you have no actual proof that the soup caused your illness, it could very well have been caused by the breakfast you ate before you came to work or the supper you had the day before. If you had either bread or crackers, anything you had to touch, with your soup you could easily have contaminated it yourself with poorly washed hands.

If I were you I would pay the bills myself and be more cautious about what I stuck in my pie hole in the future. In the long run that might be wiser than alienating the boss.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Chief is right on this--you can pick up foodborne illnesses from a lot of things. You can't definitively prove that the soup made you sick unless you were to take a sample of it and have it analyzed. You MIGHT have a case if other people in the restaurant also ate the soup and had identical symptoms, but what else did you eat that day? You might have eaten something bad a little earlier that caused the illness. Either way, I say just pay for your buddy's car cleaning and the ER copay yourself and always, always wash your hands before you eat. That being said--restaurant soup is usually a hotspot for food poisoning because it is a breeding ground for bacteria.

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Right on runninggrrl2! Another reason I usually avoid soups in restaurants is because they are sometimes made from leftovers from the day before. That can be a good and frugal thing to do but can also pose a danger sometimes.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I don't know whether the source of your distress was the Onion Soup or not. Still, here's a testament to the power of Onion Soup.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

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