Ask PoopReport: My Ass Stinks!

// // 839 Comments
k 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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0

Dear Poopreport,

My ass stinks. Pretty bad. This bothers me, because it bothers my girlfriend. I am not a dirty person. Every morning I shower and scrub my ass vigorously --
in the crack, even a bit in the hole, for good measure. But after one poop, the whole area reeks again.
I'm a good wiper -- what is wrong with me? How can I keep my ass from smelling?

839 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: My Ass Stinks!"

Rat Droppings's picture
l 100+ points

The brown ring around the anus is your natural skin color. Some are darker than others. Porn stars have them bleached. Just keep it clean and live with the color.


_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points

RD: Missed you the last coupla. Regarding your post: a little information can be a dangerous thing--(cite your bleaching reference above). You need to counter with caveat about not "trying this at home with household liquid bleach". A quip and 'keep it clean' is always a safe bet.

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Where I come from we don't worry about cleaning our assholes. We just elect them to Congress.

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

Anonymous Coward's picture

damn yo ass is fucked up dude

Anonymous Coward's picture

anal incontinence-who has it? i sure do, had it for 10 years now. its real fun, drove me to a cocaine addiction i cant quit cuz if i do whats left? go get a job where everyones rubbing their nose and giving me dirty looks and talkin about me behind my back?truth is the only thing i have is family but i dont talk about my problem, i think it may be a 10 or 11, on a scale 1 to 10. i found out how i got it today tho. car accident 10 years ago, i broke vertabra and pelvis bone. now my ass leaks and so does my johnson sometimes. whoopy what a wonderful life, well i have a little up left so ill go do it before i lie down, think for hours about why i smell worse than the bum on 3rd ave. and do the same tomorrow. later

Cosby Curdle's picture

I agree with all who state the obvious: Your diet controls what your ass smells like. This may be true for some, but not for all. For as long as I can remember, my farts have smelled worse than anyone elses. There is a line you cross with your friends, when your bros stop laughing. I don't even get this line. I get the serious look when they inform me "you're really fucking sick, you know that" and chicks tell their boyfriends they don't want to come to my apartment because it smells like diapers. I don't beleive my apartment smells like butt, I use febreeze all the time, but the driver side seat cushion in my truck has a fierce odor you can detect when you open the door. When the A/C comes on, your face gets ass-blasted by the vents. Its really embarassing some times because that kind of shit is just going too far. Sometimes when I wake up after a night of drinking, my whole room smells foul. The aura just leaks out at night. Tell me thats not fucked up. Working out at the gym is also difficult. I do my best to remain anonymous and pass off the blame, but people just start to recognize you. Especially on the treadmill, you can't escape that shit no matter how fast you run. I really don't fart alot, its just such a warm, concentrated dose. I've tried alot of things, even no red meat/fish for a week, but nothing really helped. I guess I just needed to "vent". Do me a favor and be thankful the next time your friend laughs when you rip one. Its nice when you can laugh without stinging your nostrils.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

AC of 04.04.2006: They make adult incontinence diapers. Also, it wouldn't hurt you to ease up on the hooch, although I can see why a person would drink if they were leaking out of both bottom holes.

Cosby Curdle: You need to look into "Under Ease" charcoal-filtered underwear. Designed specifically to "remove ass gas before someone walks into it and either stops their heart, ignites the sheets or both," this product sells for only $24.95 a pair, and replacement filters are only $9.95 (doesn't say how often you have to replace). Do this for the ones you love!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Dumpster-- Do they make those for people's mouths? There's a few folks at work that I'd like to have fitted for them.....

Andre's picture

I learnt this when I was posted in Saudi Arabia during the 1991 Gulf War. Wash your ass with water (soap is not necessary, but may be used) instead of using TP. It'll save trees, and your ass will not smell anymore.

Chit Winterwheat's picture

Hilarious stuff.Try not eating and then weld your spider permanently.Alternatively, ram a plastic tube up your Tonto, attach the other end to a convenient pocket sized bottle,(plastic to be on the safe side, don't want glass shredding your serpent!) fill the bottle with baking soda and water, fit a valve half way along the tube and fit a rubber bulb. Then you can give yourslf an enema at any time of day.The only drawback to this is that your shoes will be filled with anal water and your feet will smell like ass! So,....best find another solution,...sorry!

poop phobia's picture

I dont believe that other people had the same problem as me.I am not english.i was really surprised.It was really torturing for me because i was embarassed to go to the university lessons coz i knew someone would say ,someone stinks..it got a phobia to me for along time..Now i dont have it anymore, but i havent done anything.I think it must have been an infection and the only one to trust to tell yu what to do would be a proctologist and not silly tips for how to wash..

Poop_Patrol's picture

I had quite a few of the problems posted above.

But then found out that it was my computer chair! Since I play computer quite a bit (1-2 hours a day) I fart a lot in the single chair I have. When I sit down, it gathers all the smelly particles into my pants, and I start to stink. My suggestion is to just change your pants regularly, boxers/underwear aswell, keep your chair clean and your ass crack healthy! There is no need for those coverups, such as deoderant, cologne/perfume (the mix is disgusting) or even homebrand dishwashing liquid (We had a discussion about it and how it can harm you, but leaves you smelling good, in physical education the other week). Keep your butt clean with soap, wipe regularly (would suggest after a shower, or before and once or twice during a 6 hour period), and of course, show no mercy!

Guys - be proud of your crack, 'root' and nads. If your lady doesn't like it, she ain't worth it. Try what I have said beforehand, though. ;)

Womens clean ass hole lover's picture

As far as ass stink goes. I do one thing every single time I poop. I mini wash in the shower. I use soap or shampoo. I rinse very well first then apply the soap/shampoo and work it really well to a good lather then rinse and repeat. Works for me and I never have to do anything else. Now if I'm not home then I use wet wipes until there is no skid marks at all (usually 3 to 4 wipes)then dry completely. It's a decent temp fix until you can get to a shower. That's for guys. As far a gals go. I gotta agree with alot of the others. The natural scent of a womans clean ass hole is super hot. I like to sniff a chicks ass hole after she has showered well, also her pussy. But more so her ass hole. The natural scent of it when cleaned is just right. Not to strong and not too weak. There is nothing quite like that special spicy smell, odor, scent. I wish I could bottle it.

cinnamon bun's picture

You are absolutely right-I also like the smell of a nice lady´s ass-especially teens-it reminds me of the smell when somebody is sitting next to you and chewing a Big red cinnamon gum-I think this comes very close to what a teenies ass smells like-i find it great-it really turns me on-my much younger gf has a wonderful ass-and it smells like cinnamon-i´m so lucky

742ing's picture

To "cinnamon bun". I'm "Womens clean ass hole lover" but now i'm verified so I'm "742ing". I never thought of it like that but your right, it does smell cinnamon-ee! More power to chicks cinnamon ass holes. And If you really have a gf like that. YOUR THE MAN!!

Hippopootomous's picture

I leak all the time. Soon after I shower that sticky feeling starts to turn slippery. The smell. It peels the paint off of a wall. Any chair I sit in need to be reapolstered. A plane trip is particularly nasty. Let's put it this way, little kids never lie and they scream it all over the place. By the time I reach LA from NY the seat has a racing stripe. God help the next middle seater. Ahh, then I found a solution, virtually by accident. I was taking a healthy dump and I saw an unopened tampon on the toilet top. Sure enough, it worked. Takes a little getting used to, you know, the string and full feeling. The nice part about it is that I don't leak any more. The really wonderful part about it is that I don't even have to mess with the tampon. When I take my next shit, wouldn't you know, pop goes the weasel, it's down and out. On those occasions when I peeked into the commode to see the situation, I noticed that the tampon is poop-soaked only halfway down. What a miracle. The perfect cure to a very stinky problem.
Cheers.

Anonymous Coward's picture

try letting your girlfriend lick it(joking).
use some hand wash and mix with water gentally wipe it with the toilet paper.
or go see a doctor.

Mhmm, You Know Dat's Right's picture

To all those with devastatingly stinky bums: I stumbled across this page and began reading. Though laughing hysterically, I did have a plethora of helpful ideas that I wanted to post. I am a woman and am no stranger to funky days (we all have 'em). To the men who have a problem with smelling bad, even after a shower-several have stated diet being an important component. This is so very true. Y'are whatcha eat. Ingest healthy foods, beverages (tons of water), don't smoke, and alcohol should be limited. Good hygiene is a must. Baby wipes are wonderful for use at the toilet. As far as showering goes, I suggest using something gentle, yet effective in the killing of bad bacteria, while retaining the good...feminine wash, baby. Yep, Summer's Eve as a body wash, or a generic version. This will cleanse and kill odor causing bacteria without upsetting the PH of your skin. Something else to try is to bathe in hot water, but allow the last five minutes to be as cold as you possibly can take. This closes pores and would allow for freshness to last. Pat dry. Do not wipe hard with a towel, as that only stimulates the oil glands to produce, which in turn will eventually become malodorous. This rule applies in the shower as well-too much scrubbing is NOT good. Use your hand, but be thorough. Use a light body lotion, always, after a shower. Alfalfa tablets found at your local health food supply are highly effective in ridding the body of odor. If recommended dosage is taken, your secretions aren't as "powerful". This takes a few weeks to kick in, but is cheap. You must also continue use, however. To the guy who discovered tampons-good idea, but over time, you will lose the capacity to hold that sucker in there. Might I suggest kegel exercises to all those that have leakage problems? Good for incontinence issues. If the particular smell of your own fecal matter is bothersome, well, that's not unusual. After defecating, in addition to just simply washing, there are numerous enemas for tub use sold at a drugstore. There are also the same type with a douche involved. Nifty contraptions. I would use this as a last resort, and most definitely, read the instructions. If all the above fail, then a doctor is truly the way to go because prescriptions will more than likely be required, and his/her scrutiny of your health is imperative. I truly hope this helps. As an afterthought, I thought I'd share that I absolutely love my man's armpits. The lingering of worn-off-almost-completely deodorant and the faint smell of his natural body odor mixed with his cologne, OMG! That is a sexy smell. Some smells truly aren't as offensive as you might perceive them to be.

Mike 2020's picture

Not eating certain foods is probably the best solution, but if all else fails there is a Budhist quote: "The key to enlightenment is knowing that everything is an illusion." and the second quote from me, "make everyone smell your ass until they evolve into someone who likes it, and wants their ass to smell the same as yours, however long that may take" make the bastards smell your ass, use it as an effective weapon.

Anonymous Coward's picture

try seeing a doctor..it may be a rectal prolapse(when ur rectum is stickin out of ur asshole)it will stink every tym u sweat or even if ur not sweatin in ur asscrkz when you hav that problem.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

"...Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 07.30.2006 'try seeing a doctor..it may be a rectal prolapse(when ur rectum is stickin out of ur asshole)it will stink every tym u sweat or even if ur not sweatin in ur asscrkz when you hav that problem...'"

OMG!OMG! EYE M SOFA KING WEE TODD DID!

Criminy's picture

As a woman, I have to say, my man does well with keeping his privates clean. You guys don't realize that sometimes the nether regions gather smell all the way from anus to balls when there is hair involved! Sometimes the smell clings on a bit more than you know. If my guy expects me to do duty further on down (and I don't mind going on down a bit) he shaves the path for me. Less hair makes for less smell, believe me, guys.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Criminy! I LOVE that word! It was the only "expletive" my grandma ever used. That's going to be my word of the month!

And re: your comment, may I add that my hubby is super-fastidious in that regard, too, without shaving anything. Tho' he isn't on the baboon end of the hairy spectrum, so that may prevent some of the problem you mentioned.
_______
Fecal Matters.

stinky s**t's picture

i have a problem about a yar ago my pooh started to become slightly "loose"
resulting in having to wipe my butt with loads of paper .
but over the last month or so my pooh really has started to stink badly that bad i cant stand to smell it when on the loo

it seems to smell distinctively like cat pooh

and its still slightly loose

i cant really disguss this with my wife i feel embarrased
my doctor always puts things down to a virus so forget that approach

i do eat alot of fast foods but thats been the norm for years .im not overweight 13 stone 6 foot tall.
any ideas anyone ??

oh lads as for the groin smell when sweating wash your groin in a morning then just spray it with a good quality antipersirant.
no sweat no smell problem solved

thanks

delusional's picture

This brainy discourse has missed the key point: what matters as to effectively preventing or remediating ass smell is toilet paper technique; schools should teach this starting in maybe the third grade; how many sheets, how to fold it, how to apply (clockwide, counterclockwise, up or down, in or out) - ignorance about TP technique is the root problem; it just makes good scents.

average's picture

Ok, first of all, what if you don't want to carry baby wipes around all day, or don't have a bag/purse? Public washrooms are sketchy. You don't want to get caught trying to wash your ass out at the sinks, but if you can dip into a stall, sneak out with a wad, and wet it beforehand, then head back in for the duty, it works.
But usually I'm thinking, fuck that noise, too much work, and I just write the day off as a shit-stained waste.

I like to use lots of toilet paper. None of this 1 piece business. Anything getting on my hands would be an abomination. So I do the following:

When I piss i use about 2 feet minimum for a wipe. (I'm a chick) I ALWAYS piss when I shit, can't help it, it's a goddamn mess. So for a shit, I sit down and immediately make a preliminary piss-wad. I like to fold it up all tight for the finger side, and fluffy for the wipe side, to avoid getting any on me. For shits, I make a second, longer wad, maybe 2, plus the piss wad. I never wipe less than twice for a shit, cause if I do the first wipe and it's clean.. I really don't believe or trust in that. So a second one is necessary. If it's only 2 then it's a great day. But usually it's like 3 ass wipes an one flush for a normal shit, or up to 15 wipes an 3 flushes for an abomination dump - you know - the watery kind that sprays out with tons of farts and little squares of red pepper (why is there always peppers and tomatoes in those shits?!?) and a mushroom cloud stink.

Anyway, that's how I do things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't really know why. Always shower, always wipe. Don't have bidets in North America so I let it rot sometimes.

Happy trails.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

"An ass by any other name still probably smells like shit." - Shakespeare.

"Duh." - Everyone else.

oinkin boinkin's picture

WIPE YOUR ASS AN TAKE A BATH DEE DEE DEE is it THAT hard???? Did mommy not teach you proper?? i say just shove a stick of dynomite in there and light it see what happens i bet it no stink no mo

turd turdgutson's picture
l 100+ points

Try showering more than once a week, and try wiping more than once after shitting! Your poor hygeine is precisely why your ass stinks, dumbass.
_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Your ass stinks because shit comes out of it. How the hell did you expect it to smell?

I Smell Onions's picture

You smell what I smell? I Smell onions, somebody needs to wash their ass because I smell some onions PHEW!!!!

X2021's picture

I am unemployed, so I sit at home reading things like this. I have two things to say. First of all, I have not had to do laundry in week because I have not changed my clothes (inculding underwear) in about 9 days. Secondly, I have not showered in a little more than a week. I have taken about 10 and a half shits in this time frame. Well, (after removing my dick from the side of my leg) just for kicks I stuck half of my finger into the chocolate star out of curiosity. Needless to say, it smelled like spoiled egg nog that sat out in the sun too long. About ten seconds later, I heard a knock at the door, it was my girlfriend. Three minutes into the visit, I got hooked up orally with no complaints what so ever. I have not showered since!

shitforbrains's picture

i have hemroids so I cant complete my bowel movement sometimes -- so it doesnt matter how well I wipe or how far I stick my moist wiggling fingers up my smelly anus -- they cant reach the the stinky shit wedged between my hemroids. That shit's stuck 6 inches from the anus exit but its stench wafts down and out the anus exit. Its so strong it never stops; it permeates all fabrics permanently. So i carry a spray bottle of rubbing alchohol and spray everthing my ass sits on. I also spray my pants and my shirt and my whole body. I'll stop at nothing to get rid of the filthy shitty stench. Im going take an egg beater and ream the hemroids out of my ass.

Anonymous Coward's picture

hi. my cunt used to stink all the time. i washed it everyday with soap. then i started to shave it bald and keep it bald now it never stinks. i suggest you shave your ass, the hair traps in the stink
my ass stinks after i shit, i try to schedule my shits for around 10 at night so i can shower soon afterwards.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Is it normal for females to have hair up their butt cracks?

Rectal Thunder's picture

So this one time I was in an elevator & the ppl started gagging, one person commented "WTF is that smell, did someone shit themselves then puke all over it, christ what a smelly cunt", suffice to say I was really embarrassed & got out at the next floor, a few other ppl looked disgusted as I dragged my stinky shit ass home.

This is a common occurance it seems, ppl think I smell like a one man scat party I guess, I love my odour though :)

Anonymous Coward's picture

Dr. Assman remarked that the most offensive odor was a cumin-y smell. That's how I reach your website. I'm trying to figure out what that cumin-y smell is and what can I do about it. The smell is all over my body. It's especially strong when I sweat. It's like a spice from India type of smell.I'm desperate for help. My doctor has no idea how to help me. Thanks!

Anonymous Coward's picture

LOL! It can't be that bad, right people? I mean, after a dump, wipe around, as well as in, the hole. Clean that poop chute out! When you shower, let the water stream runover that area a few times at close range. If you sweat a lot, make frequent trips to the bathroom and wipe the area, once again cleaning inside the ring. As long as you don't let the butt secretions pile up, it shouldn't be too bad. I mean, I'm not sure how butt-fucking may affect ass drip vulnerability though.......

Anonymous Coward's picture

This is absofuckinglutely hilarious. I recommend: figure out what makes you fart/shit and eat less of it. Wipe better - use wet wipes, which get a lot of stuff dry wiping can't. Do laundry more frequently - as soon as an article of clothing smells even a little, put it in the washer. Change clothes as soon as you get home and at lunch if you have to. Shaving some of the hair works, as smell collects there especially when shit dries on the hair. A close trim is best - bald not so much. In the shower, wash with a washcloth - soap it up really well and wipe with it a few times. If shit is everywhere on the washcloth, guess what... that's what was smelling so bad. If you smell stuff when sitting down... it may be the chair. Get down right on the chair and smell it. Does is stink? well wash the chair fabric with soap and water, and get another chair to use for a few weeks while the smell completely vanishes from the first one. If needed, wear 2 pairs of shorts - a set of briefs, and a set of boxers over those. Cotton is much, much better than polyester - which will hold stench in like a vice. For an automobile, use carpet powder and spread it all over the seats and let it sit for hours, if you have to. Vacuum it up.

to the point's picture

Butt stink, and how to get rid of it. Shaving butt hair does not cause your butt crack to stink. It HELPS IT TO NOT STINK. WHEN ON THE GO, DUDES, MEN, GUYS, USE BABY WIPES.Wipe the entire butt crack area, and the front too, for good measure. Use them every time you go #2, and for heavens sake, LIFT when you wipe, LIFT your jewels. When you are at home, WASH YOUR ASS AFTER YOU POOP. AFTER YOU WORK OUT, TAKE A SHOWER, AFTER A SWEATY DAY OF WORK, TAKE A SHOWER. If you wake up in the morning and want some from your girlfriend / wife, go to the bathroom, WASH YOUR ASS, AND YOUR PACKAGE, PUT ON SOME CLEAN BOXERS (sexy fitted boxers look great), and walah, instant sexomania. TRIM VERY CLOSELY, OR TOTALLY SHAVE YOUR PUBIC HAIR, IT IS GROSS TO SEE WIRY HAIR, AND EVEN MORE GROSS TO GET IT STUCK IN YOUR TEETH. PLUS it makes your dinger look bigger, it really does. Most women these days think pubic hair is gross, long wiry kind, very closely trimmed or totally shaven is much better. And if you are fat, or even 10 pounds over your ideal weight, it will make your ass stink, the extra fat is pushing your ass cheeks together, so you sweat more, more bacteria, more stink. REMEDY: PUT DOWN THE DING DONGS (NO PUN INTENDED) GO TO THE GYM AND WORK OUT. FOR GOD'S SAKE, GUYS, BUY NEW SHOES EVERY SIX MONTHS, FEET STINK IS WORSE THAN ASS STINK. Wear cotton underwear, boxers, etc, don't wear your jeans to tight, and SHOWER

Anonymous Coward's picture

My personal opinion, every ass stinks. Everyones ass is there for the same reason. None and I repeat NONE of them smell good!!!!!

Duh!!'s picture

I agree with anonymous coward. Butts smell and they're supposed to. I mean we use them to take a shit not to mention that area is sweaty all the time. You people don't want to admit that you have smelly bums. Heck even after taking a shower you'd still notice that your ass smells. The good news is you're not alone and every person on the planet is on the same boat.

Case Study's picture

my ass used to smell too. i dont remember when i started using deodorant on it, a couple of years ago i guess. not only does it keep the smell away completely, but i put a little all over my ass and it keeps it from sweating as much. i use ARRID XX brand deodorant/antiperspirant.

hope this helps someone..

AssSoClean's picture

Alright so I am from the Middle East and the culture is set up that every bathroom has a water hose that is used to wash your ass. I have found that no one from the Middle East has the ass smelling problem. This eliminated the idea of whipping the ass therefore smearing the poop all over your ass. The bathrooms have foam soap and sensor water fountains, which eliminated the bacteria problem that everyone is probably scared of when confronted with this idea. I think the US should pick this idea up and with the brilliant minds here make it even safer.

CandyAss617's picture

When I was a senior in high school, I noticed blood in my poop. I was very nervous about this and told my father. He said it was nothing. I replied with "Nothing to you - you have Crohn's Disease." He agrees. The doctors thought it was polyps, at first. It wasn't. It turned out to be ulcerative protitis. It's very painful. There's blood on the poop and in the poop. It can be messy and painful to go. What's even worse is if you're a girl and then the period comes... extra painful. So bad I could cry.
It's been about 3 years since I was in 12th. I haven't had blood in months - then I noticed some a couple of days ago. That's got to be from a new ulcer. Last time I went to the doctors - they gave me suppositories which didn't do any good. My dad and I felt like we wasted our money and time. So, I haven't been to the doctor for the UP in about 3 years. What I do to help me body heal is go on a liquid diet - water and French Vanilla Slimfast in a can - almost a fast. If I'm not eating a lot, there's not a lot digesting - and not a lot irritating the ulcer. I don't go outside or do anything very physical when I do this. I just watch TV or play PS2 or something. This seems to work for me.

But what troubles me is this next bit, which I'm wondering if it's related to the UP or soemthing else?

I have little white-colored balls for poop - not that much - but it can be painful. You see - I eat a LOT of pasta, potatoes, and cheese. I drink Coca-Cola almost like I need it to live. Is it likely that all the cheesy foods I'm eating is causing some sort of calcium buildup inside my body??? Is that a bad thing? Should I be worried? Or is it that maybe the Coca-Cola is the culprit? Is this from the ulcer problem? I heard all three, but I'd like to be certain.

I think I'll add this, too... God made me without a sense of smell... which I heard from friends and family is a blessing... apparently, when I go to the bathroom... it's bad enough to kill a corpse. I even had something like this when I was in elementary school. When I would go #2, I would have this orange greasy filmy substance - some mixed in, some floating... either way, my parents said it was rank. I had grown men who were somewhat jealous of my flatulence - they said if they could fart like that, they'd be proud. I have no sense of smell - so I can't say for myself how bad it was. The doctors then didn't know what that orange stuff was about. Somebody once told me that I wasn't digesting animal fat?? Then again - she was no expert. Maybe all this is related somehow??

Shayanne's picture

I have to admit. I have great hygiene and my booty hole smells great. Wash with warm water and soap and you wont stink

Anonymous Coward's picture

i have a problem as well. my ass usually starts smelling when i sit at one place for a certain period of time, i become sweaty and smelly. i have tried all sorts of things but they havent worked. this odor causes me loads of problems. can any1 help me...plzz?

Don Vito's picture

when I go poop it smells like onions and boiled eggs that have been left in the sun for days. It makes me feel so bad because when i live in a college dorm and all the girls i live are like "what the f... man." you smell like doodo. and I don't like smelling liike doodo. my roommate says i stink and she'll spray me constantly with air freshener. i've tried everything. my boyfriend won't even do me in the chute anymore because it gets really poopy and messy. and that is how i get the most pleasure...in the rectum. but damn, old men wish they could take dumps as bad as me.

Anonymous Coward's picture

ok today was the 1st day i shaved my @$$. now i read only page 3 of this but i was wondering is it bad that i shaved my @$$? i mean can some of the loose hairs go up my @$$ and cause internal bleeding? and will it be worse when i run and stuff cuz there is no hair to catch the sweat?

please help me out

Muslim's picture

Im a muslim and as every muslim should do after he uses the bathroom we wash with water & im almost certian that there is a whole book in the bible on clealiness so mabe its that your not following your religion verry well

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