Eat Poop For Your Health

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Wait. What?So your hiney hole has been emitting a rather watery effluent with a bit
more frequency than you are comfortable with. You are in a foreign country where dysentery is a fairly common malady, and you have read horror stories about death from this dreaded condition. What can you do?

Why not just chow down on some poop!

In Africa during World War II, German doctors were horrified to learn that in addition to losing troops to the army of Field Marshal Montgomery, men were dying in massive numbers from dysentery. The locals were not suffering from this malady, though, so the doctors focused their attention on the local population to see how they avoided it. The Germans, being fastidious people, were shocked when they learned that at the first signs of intestinal distress the Arabs followed a camel, and when it pooped they immediately picked up a steaming blob of dung and ate it. These poop eaters were then mysteriously cured, practically overnight. The Arabian population had no idea why this treatment worked, and when questioned simply stated that they and their ancestors had always done it.

The German doctors were both disgusted and intrigued and decided to solve this riddle. A bit of research showed them that fresh camel, horse and sheep dung was rich in a bacteria called Bacillus subtilis.
They soon discovered that this powerful bacterial microorganism is so strong that it practically cannibalizes all harmful microorganisms in the human body, particularly pathogenic bacteria like the virulent strain which was causing dysentery in the German troops.

It was correctly discerned that the troops would probably rebel if steaming piles of camel crap were served up at mealtime, so with a little more research they learned to create the magic elixir by a means that didn't involve the intestinal tract and anus of a ruminant, or quasi-ruminants from the orders Equidae, or Tylopoda.

This artificially produced bacteria is credited with saving many lives and is still used in many countries of the world as a means of fighting
dysentery and diarrhea, diseases that still take the lives of more children each year than malaria and several other diseases combined. In Western Europe and the Middle East it is used frequently as an immunostimulatory agent to treat gastrointestinal and urinary tract infections.

Antibiotics, the so-called wonder drugs, are more expensive to manufacture, slower to cure dysentery, and have the added danger of producing the super bugs we are starting to hear so much about; so the next time you have a case of the Hershey-squirts and your doctor reaches for his prescription pad, tell him to be sure and write the script for some "good shit."

If you want to read more about this poopy topic, visit the following sites:


The Bacillus Subtilis Story

Bacillus subtillus

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14 Comments on "Eat Poop For Your Health"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I love what you come up with, Chief. You truly are a dedicated and wonderful Poopreporter.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Turd Burgler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This is something Bear Grylls would do. I seen an episode where he was in the desert and in order counteract dehydration he drank the juice from an elephant turd. Gross!
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The only bad turd is a turd that has yet to be laid.

The only bad turd is a turd that has yet to be laid.

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

If eating dookie is healthy, Deja Poo is probably going to live to be 200.

coachb12's picture

I don't think this was what George Carlin had in mind when he used the phrase good shit. I can imagine your doctor telling you to go on a diet and eat better shit. If Marie Antoinette knew about this she might have said let them eat shit instead of cake.

Anonymous Coward's picture

"Have I got something stuck between my teeth...?"
"Oh shit."

Gives that little exchange a whole new meaning doesn't it?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

When I lived in rural Sumner County, Tennessee I had an elderly black neighbor who, even though he was illiterate, was a wealth of knowledge when it came to folklore. In the many pleasant conversations we enjoyed over a friendship of several years he told me about one remedy his grandmother liked to administer to the children even though they were all adamantly opposed to it.

Her remedy of choice was a steaming cup of "sheep nanny tea," this foul concoction was easily come by with no cash outlay required as the prime ingredient, sheep shit, could be picked up in a nearby barnyard. Just boil a turd or two, add a sweetener, and force the mixture down the gullet of a protesting child.

The children always claimed they felt much better to avoid receiving a second dose.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Actually, there is a lot of research going on regarding bacterial flora that can help to eliminate many bacterial intestinal infections. About 90% of your immune system is in your gut--when you have a healthy, diverse population of bacteria growing in there, the harmful bugs can't grow and never cause problems.

On a side note--they've been doing research on curing Clostridium difficile (aka C-diff) with "poop transplants" where the doctors take healthy stool from a family member (or a REALLY good friend, haha) and insert into the rectum of the sick person to help crowd out the C-diff. Gross, but it'd probably be very effective.

_______
An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Thanks for commenting runninggirl12, Since you are a microbiologist you add extra veracity to the story!!


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Considering the constant diet of toxic bullshit that you and your teabagger friends have been feeding to America, PEC-kerhead, I suppose that we'll soon be a nation of immortals, me included.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

The Last Assbender's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Are we talking about the coming financial crisis, DP?

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A shit a day keeps the doctor away.

A shit a day keeps the doctor away.

DumpsLikeaTruck's picture

runninggirl12:

I was JUST thinking of the poo-transplant story when I read this. SO INTERESTING.

I heard a story about a wife with C-Diff, or maybe IBS? Anyway, she got a fecal transplant from her husband, and was fixed right up!

Also, on the same show, was a story about a guy who went to latrines in Africa to stomp around in the turds to pick up parasitic worms to cure him of his debilitating allergies. Allegedly worked too!

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

There's never a dull moment with those Nazis.___
Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Anonymous's picture

I was given to understand that Germans regularly added fecal matter to certain holiday foods. I've only tasted German food once and it most assuredly has a tinge of fecal matter in the taste and its very difficult to get the taste out. Don't Germans know this is unsanitary? What a filthy country Germany must be. No wonder Europe despises them.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Dear Anonymous, I don't know where you got your information but can assure you that you need to look about for a new source. I looked long and hard for anything on the internet to back up your claim and could find nothing. I have eaten a lot of German food and have found it to be quite tasty.

The Germans are an obsessively clean people and I am not aware of their being hated by other Europeans. If that is so how do you explain the massive number of people who have immigrated there these past several years?

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

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